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CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041213 (+3)
left the light on in his room for about 2 hours, left the flat and returned noisy as per usual at 1:20am. at least he didn’t return so late, but why leave your light on idiot? shut up shut up shut up. get out get out get out! go away, NOBODY LIKES YOU ANYMORE!!!!! must you keep coming in and out of the house like that? he’s opened and slammed the door at least 10 times in the past 20 minutes.
he’s gone. i can breathe… well sorta. the hallway still smells like him. ew gross. it was apparently ray that let him freeload because he said he wasn’t working this weekend so he can do whatever the hell he wants. can’t get ray in trouble, we need him on our side.
so didjoo know that in Victorian England, the age of consent was 12 in 1861? ain’t that scary? it rose to 16 in 1885. poor girls.
agent orange
CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041212
ok. so now i have someone else to hate. su balcombe is the housing manager. she allowed the slob to freeload off us for the weekend cuz he didn’t have anywhere to go to. what a fucker! excuse me?! so what if there were other people that had to move out and had to stay at say, a hotel or something because the RULE IS THAT IF YOU’RE MOVING OUT YOU HAVE TO BE OUT BY THE 11TH!!!!! he jacked off yet again 2 nights ago and jamie heard him too. and he was going to come out of his room because he thought there was something wrong. ew ew ew! this time the asshole came back at like 4:15am like it was the middle of the day and woke me up. and because i was so angry i couldn’t get back to sleep. su is costing me 2 nights sleep and if i get an ulcer i’m blaming her. what kind of fuckery is that anyway??!?!?!?!?! he can stay FREE for 2 nights?!?!?!?!?!? did she even ask US if WE minded since we’re the ones that have to pay? hellllll fuckin’ no. i hope he drops his stupid tv or he gets robbed of it when he’s taking it to the other place. he’s stealing cutlery too. he made up this lie that he bought some at the pound shop. right. just get the fuck out now!
i honestly felt like crying last night. it’snot fucking fair! oh remember the shit that he left in the pot? he cleaned it out. but scraped off the teflon. so i told him to throw it out. now we’re short a large pot. we din’t really pay for it in the beginning because it was left over from last year, but still. what an ass. he uses SO much dishsoap and the dishes STILL don’t get clean, he ruined a pot, frying pan, leaves the water running, leaves his lights on, makes SO MUCH FUCKING NOISE!!!!! and i’ve never heard the word sorry come out of the ass’ mouth. not like he’d really mean it anyway. i know that the only people worth getting mad at are the people that you care about, but this has an adverse affect on me and i’d like to see him go! me and mina told sabina and now she can’t even look at him either.
CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041210
i am most disturbed. most extremely disturbed. if you do not want to be disgusted, please read on to the next paragraph. my ears have been violated and i cannot look at the slob in the eye ever again… which is cool cuz he’s moving out tomollo… hallelujah! ok. so he came home last night at 2am drunk as a skunk. cooked, ate, went to bed. however, i heard him… jerking off. ew ew ew ew ew ew! i feel SO violated. SO gross, why oh why did I HAVE TO HEAR HIM? why did he have to be so loud? i don’t care what you do in private, i just don’t want to hear it. and since he was so drunk he fell into a deep snoring sleep, woke himself up and finished off the dirty deed.
he left a pot full of burnt rice and a greasy pan. he hid them in the cupboard under the sink. this isn’t the first time. he’d better wash it out before he leaves else i’m throwing the crud in the pot at him. go away! he’s almost like a child that broke something and hid it so that he wouldn’t get into trouble. what an idiot!
so i’m still sorta obsessively researching for my term papers. since the big G left out the queer perspective in her writings, i need some stuff to support my argument with. i’m reading the first chapter in this huge tome and didjoo know that in 1500s florence there was something called the uffiziali di notte, where citizens can anonymously accuse each other for crimes… real or imagined. so of course botticelli was accused of sodomy. oh and apparently leonardo was the sugar daddy for someone.
duh. i was looking at an internship for the summer for the national gallery of art in dc. i was thinking, “hmm.. that’d look good on my cv and the pay seems decent. i guess it wouldn’t hurt to apply.” stupid! you’re still paying rent here until sept 3rd you idiot! hahaha, i forgot that minor detail.
i want to slam my heaviest book against the wall to shut him up. jeezy peezy. figures why people are so deaf! why don’t you turn down your tv? fucker! ever notice when you really dislike someone EVERYTHING about them starts to bother you? like the fact that if he lived in toronto during the sars scare his ass would be whupped! buddy, cover your mouth when you cough!
posted by: conspiracytheorist at 13:52 |
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CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041208 (+2) now i don’t know if my rough draft will be good enough. we just had a re-hash session about our term papers in the research skills and methods course. dammit! and yeah, i’m gonna have a lotta revising to do until it’s a presentable rough draft. i kept the phone in my room last night. i don’t care if his feelings are hurt because it shows a lack of trust in him… BECAUSE IT’S TRUE ASSHOLE! so classes are done. still debating whether i should stay home longer or not. 4th or the 14th… ha! the flight is prolly all booked up anyway. i’m still more on the ‘no’ side because i know i’ll want to stay than come back to this flat. or not… i dunno. no no no, i’m supposed to be job hunting n’ stuff, that’s right! ok, fahget it. just wish i’d book a later date though. shit! dammit dammit dammit! that’s ok, a few of you will be visiting me right? RIGHT?! c’maaaaaaaaaaaaaan! you know you waaaaaanna! 9 days left. and now i’m shittin’ bricks because of my term papers. looks like it’s going to be a painful 9 days. however, the reward of going home is SO worth it cuz i get to see all of you. apparently there’s this tradition at sussex called the ‘sussex dash’ or something where on the due date of the dissertation people are seen sprinting across campus to hand in their dissertations and people everywhere are cheering them on and everything. heather said that last year there was a dude dressed up as a giraffe… hahahaha. SO funny. i hope i’ll have handed it in before then because you’ll have to line up… oops queue to hand them in. such a stupid word. queue. so it’s kinda gross… but the DUDE DID HIS LAUNDRY!!!!! ok so the 38 yr old who’s never stepped foot into a grocery store, never cleaned up after himself, never cooked for himself… he did his laundry. ever since he moved here, he’s NEVER done any washing until this week. 2 of his flatmates are from the states and mina told me that they think he’s kinda ‘ayashii’ which means like a shady character… and i HAD to laugh because i could figure out the slang word they’d use to describe him. we were discussing poco… aka postcolonialism in class today. it was interesting cuz michele’s fam originally from portugal was living in angola for generations. her husband fought for angola against portugal even though he is also of portuguese descent. her mother hasn’t stepped foot into portugal until she was 35. i can understand her anger at people making sweeping generalizations of colonialism/poco… but then you start thinking how many generations does one have to go back, where does the guilt end, do people still have to take responsibility? i remember when i was a little kid and i didn’t understand the meaning of that and i think it was mulroney that was apologizing to the japanese that were put in the internment camps during ww II and it was said on the radio… and i said to my mother, “well that’s a little late isn’t it? and why should it matter when it was so long ago?” of course it matters stoopid! and my being in canada i don’t think would completely renounce my responsibility of my japanese ancestors, would it? i don’t even know if there was anybody in my direct lineage that did fight in ww II. funny, the whole concept of colonialism/poco didn’t really have any resonance until i came here. i still don’t quite fully grasp it the way a european, let alone a brit would. maybe it’s also cuz i have no choice but to learn about it, whereas if i didn’t learn about it in class, then i prolly never really woulda thought about it. this is also coming from a girl that’s going to take the poco course next semester, oh the irony. guilt-ridden academics are now writing muches about poco etc, but if it’s not disseminated into the wider audience, what good is your navel gazing? isn’t part of taking responsibility for one’s actions acknowledging what one has done, even if it WAS so many years ago? and why do so many academics have to write SO pretentiously? idiots!
i’m tired. i think it was the glass of wine that i had. i think i’ve had more to drink here than i have in my lifetime… which to be honest isn’t much at all. so what i have written above can be taken with a grain of salt i think… i wonder where that phrase came from. hmm… i COULD ask jeeves, but i don’t have internet access. fuckers! why are there so many bad things happening back home? why did i have to read about the girl that’s scared to do ordinary things in life because she was shot on the bus or the boy that was goofing off, tried dunking and died of a concussion. or the 12 yr old that was killed by his brother and his brother’s friends i think last year and now they’re writing up about the condition in which he was found? someone cheer me up please? it doesn’t help that slob STILL hasn’t moved out, and now he’s talking on his celly so fucking loud. i don’t want to hear your stupid voice, i don’t want to smell your stupid cologne, i want you OUT! do you hear me? OUT! get outta this flat, get outta my life, stop ruining things for me you ruiner of all ruiners! he left the light on in his room for 2 fucking hours while he went out last night. fucker! i’ve even moved my desk slightly away from the wall so that when his door slams my desk doesn’t shake. great now i can hear his tv clearly and it’s 11pm and i will sleep soon because there’s no point in trying to read an article when you’re tired. GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY! oh, right, be careful what you wish for… great, i’ve just created my own karma. fuck!
agent orange CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041206 theme song: “fight music” artist: d12 extremely politically incorrect music, definitely not something you’d want to play to impress somebody, or play in mixed company, UNLESS YOU’RE REALLY FUCKING ANGRY!!!!! ok, so me and sabina spoke to the slob. grab a cuppa, sit back, relax and enjoy a lurvely story of how you should NEVER EVER trust a dude like him. when we first got the phone installed, we’d agreed that it’d be a FLAT phone for ALL OF US to use. we’d agreed that it’d be under the slob’s name because he wanted to get one for his own line in his room and offered to set one up for us as well and all we’d have to do is call bt (the conglomerate phone company like bell) and settle the $ issue oops £ issue. fine. well, previous occupants of some of these rooms had phone #s, the slob, me and mina’s. so because the line was dead in the slob’s room, he decided to use the one in the hall cuz that one was active. fine. BUT THE BITCH TOOK MY PHONE NUMBER!!!!! unbeknownst to me, he took my phone #. fine, it’s JUST A NUMBER, but here, if you have to get a new one it costs your life. why din’t he just use his #, i have NO clue. he got the phone bill for last month. most of it was HIS and he didn’t pay it off… or so the story goes. so that’s why bt said that we couldn’t make any more int’l calls. riiiiiiight! he called bt and told them not to allow it anymore. we don’t give a fuck about uk #s we need to call home. maja is leaving in 2 days, i’m sure she needs to call home to make arrangements etc etc. i need to call to confirm my flight etc etc. we paid our portion of the phone bill. here’s another shady part. he wrote on the phone bill that the line rental was £52 something. excuse me? it’s either £11.5,
17.5, or 26.5. naice attempt at extortion buddy! asshole! so i din’t pay that, i paid what i should. which is £3 cuz that’s what he said in the first place. and even if it’s for the 2 months’ worth for £26.5, i didn’t choose to have the most expensive phone plan, you did idiot! anyhow, i didn’t think it’d be such a big issue that MY # was gone until i called bt to get the line activated for my room… it’s been dead for so long that they’d actually have to get an engineer to activate it. that won’t happen until January 13th. right. i was either going to: 1. take over the line in the hall for MY new number 2. take the handset away since if we can’t use it, it’s OUR phone we can do what we want 3. duke it out since the # originally belonged to me well, me and Sabina spoke to him today. he’s moving out… he’s cancelling his # on the line in the hall… do i take the handset away and be a bitch? well, i’m a better person than that. but what REALLY gets to me, is that he’s such a lying, deceitful asshole and KNOWS it, but he acts all nice about things. i DO NOT trust that boy at ALL anymore. he’s always telling people different things. i don’t know what to believe anymore and frankly i don’t give a rat’s ass as long as he doesn’t do anything else to me, that’s cool. i’m kinda apprehensive about who’s going to move in thereafter since we’re stuck with the newbie until next year. after dec 10
th your ass belongs to the uni in terms of a tenancy agreement for this flat. this was a giant conspiracy against me and all my flatmates and i curse whomever it was that made it befall US. what have i ever done to have to deal with a deceitful, lying, dirty, messy asshole like him? agent orange
posted by: conspiracytheorist at 14:42 |
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CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041205 (+3)
ok. so now i have about 7000 words, but they’re just disjointed paragraphs. nonetheless better than nothing. yippee! yet there’s still more to be written. shite! but at least i have something to start with right? phew! ha! you still have another term paper to write sucker! ok. shut up!
ya, i’m schizo leave me alone! you try writing 2 term papers with a bad memory. you remember facts, but you don’t remember who said what or what source it’s from. i’m SO glad i don’t have to write any exams else i’d fail MISERABLY! reading and writing is cool, regurgitating is not. i wanna eat junk food!
ha! 2 months on my own and what do i have to show for it? i can make a good tossed salad… i can eat foods plain a la marnie style… simply because i’m too lazy or i don’t have the technology to make it into anything spectacular. i can cut slices of bread. no really, mina is a wicked cook, and she can cut super duper thin, but she’s terrible at slicing bread. i can alter the look of my room a bajillion times despite the fact that my bed, desk and small drawers are the only moveable things in my room. oh, did i mention i moved my bed again? i know i can eat 375g of dried fruit in 2 days. no i don’t have diarrhoea thank you very much. i can drink a millions cups of teas, coffee, milk, water in a day and still be thirsty when i go to bed.
i know that i can force myself to do something even if i don’t want to. despite my procrastinating right now, i forced myself to write my paper and i got about halfway. i can make myself get outta bed every other morning to go to the gym… well mainly because i paid for it. i have more willpower than i thought. i could’ve gone out to get cookies because there’s this place called ben’s cookies, like a mrs. fields but better. you can get 7 for the price of 5. yeah i’m broke. i coulda gone out to get them today, but i didn’t and it’snot cuz i’m lazy.
agent orange
CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041204
i know i should start actually writing my papers, but i’m afraid that i won’t have enough. every time i wrote a paper during my ug years i was usually short by a couple hundred words. these papers are twice that. this means that i’ll be short by almost 1000 words. that’snot reassuring. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit!
i’ve been pondering the phd thing once again. but i tink i’ll join the working world and make some money first before i decide to give my soul away to education again. i know now NOT to study in the uk because there’s no resources to be had. i think my memory is so far gone that i probably shouldn’t try to get my phd. i keep thinking of these things that intellects have said, but i don’t remember who said it. dammit! i want a new and improved memory. that is not to say that i don’t like my good memories, but if only i could maintain what i’ve learned from the bad, get rid of ‘em and store up all the good ones for rainy days. if i were to get my phd i think i would stick to u of t, ha! like they’d take me back! as much as i hate the school the library is a haven for a researcher.
i am stupid. so here the dates are written day, month, year. i’m used to month, day, year. so i figured out this evening that my milk actually expires today. sheeit! i got mina to take a mugful and i’m on my mugful after having ½ for milk tea earlier on.
ok. it’s 10:30pm and i have uhhh… about 1400 words for one of my papers. thank goodness footnotes are counted in the word count. wheeeeee! maybe this won’t be so painful after all. ok ok, don’t get your hopes up high girl! you’ll screw yourself over, it’s not like they’re coherent paragraphs anyway! jeez you’re just processing mental diarrhoea right now. right. ok, relax. just write!
agent orange
CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041202
see! i knew it! there’d be a catch to the leaving of slob. well, not like i’m mourning the loss of his presence from here since he still lives here. he’s taking the phone line with him. fine, understood because it’s a bitch to have to set up a new one. but now we can’t use the phone at all. ok well you IDIOT! the handset itself belongs to mina and she’s going to take it back. so fuck off. jerk! it’s not like we’re never going to see you ever again, we DO go to the same school, naice that you don’t even trust us to pay our portion of the fucking phone bill. that’s fine. then don’t use my toaster. bitch! and give us back our fucking corkscrew!!!!!
solved the eating-while-studying problem by buying a bag of dried froot for £1. except that i’ll prolly need to buy another bag already. oops. hahaha. just in case. at least it’s naturaler and healthier. right?
this is for all the sears employees, past and present if any of you are reading… while i was browsing around camden market last week lo and behold guess what i saw on a rack of 2nd-hand jeans? that’s right. NEVADA! i had a good laugh. they were selling them for like £15 or £20. worth more than they are in Canada… hmm… maybe i’ll just open up my own store and i can buy up all those narsty jeans and sell them here.. just do a load of laundry with a splash of patchouli oil so that they have that 2nd-hand smell…
i don’t mean to laugh at someone else’s misery unless they rightly deserve it, but 2 nights ago jamie came home and told me that his car broke down. his gear box fell out. so he just parked it and ran the rest of the way home. but the way he described it was SO funny. and now he has to take the train… dun dun du~n!
agent orange
posted by: conspiracytheorist at 14:41 |
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CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041201 (+3)
identity politics et al. well, i’m less than an asian other here in the uk. well, in the land of binaries then i’m non-white therefore i’m black. odd eh? i just had a EUREKA i can relate!!!!! when i was reading up on black british feminism for my big G paper. “Yet, the usage of the term ‘black’ other than with reference to specific campaigns falls into a binary opposition trap that artificially separates ‘black’ from ‘whites’ – as if racism confined to these categories alone.” (Magdalene Ang-Lygate, “On theorizing diaspora” in Black British Feminism. Heidi Safia Mirza ed. London: Routledge, 1998. 172)
aside from the fact that the author is Malaysian-born, and educated in the uk, and i tink living in scotland, but at least there’s SOMEBODY in the academic field that sees that the binary of black/white racism itself is racist because it excludes us ‘Others’.
i don’t even count as an ‘asian’ here because ‘asian’ here refers more to people from the indian subcontinent – india, pakistan, sri lanka, bangladesh. i don’t count. they still like to refer to me as ‘oriental’ sometimes (well of course, they’re still imperialists!) and it will be interesting to see what will arise in my postcolonial course next semester. funnily enough sometimes these uk ‘asians’ are considered ‘black’. but us ‘orientals’ still don’t fit in anywhere.
ah yes. so my big G paper is finally coming into being. the big G is a study of binaries. i’m arguing against that. i hope she never reads it though because she’s still teaching at u of leeds. ugh!
i don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. the slob is moving out!!!!! i don’t have to be his maid anymore!!!!! subsequently though, i might have to be somebody else’s maid. so i’m not going to get too happy. he’s taking the phone line with him though. so i don’t know what we’re going to do about that. perhaps i will put it under my name…
went out for a pint with michelle and ileana… iliana… i don’t know how to spell her name. michelle is portuguese and when she speaks to her husband it sounds SO SO SO beautiful. it’s a BEAUTIFUL language. ileana is from mexico and she’s actually going back home the same day that i am. they’re both VERY naice people and we’ll be in the same course next term too.
16 days. i can’t believe it. that means i have to write 10000 words until i leave. ugh!
i go to write now.
agent orange
posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:31 |
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CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041130
studying and researching is bad for my belly. i keep wanting to EAT while i read/research, i can’t afford it. but i KNOW that in my last week here while i’m finishing on my rough drafts before i go back i will want to eat! dammit! and this is for mh – “honey, are you hungry, do you want some nosh?”
“man! it took me FIVE minutes just to cross the damned street because of the construction, they even closed off the crosswalk!”
“the what on the street? no it’s ROADWORK. the what? not it’s pedestrian walk, you canadians…”
-that was my conversation with spencer as i was leaving the gym this morning.
and then they have a ‘subway’ for pedestrians, which is an alternate route. i came here because i speak english and this is supposed to be an english-speaking country… what’s going on? hahahaha!
what a dilemma! deal with the noise and the smell from the kitchen cuz my room is at the end of the hall or deal with the sound of the kitchen door slamming shut along with his room door cuz slob seems to like walking back and forth between the two?
sorry for the brevity
agent orange
posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:30 |
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CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041129
snoring is a conspiracy against the world, except for the person doing it, unless they wake themselves up, then they deserve to be woken up! my alarm clock today was snoring. and you KNOW i can’t get back to sleep because as soon as i think of the slob my stress level rises and i can’t get back to sleep. lurvely.
so i discovered that belgians make some GOOD beer. at my friend’s flat party saturday night, i had some chimay. strong stuff, but SO yummy. her flatmate julian is so proud of the fact that he’s belgian and so he only buys certain foods and stuff that are belgian like beer and chocolate. someone asked him if he was french, heeheehee, his reaction was beautiful!
i think i’m actually going to have to wear my fall jacket jacket today. the wind is pretty durned cold today. but the sun is out, so i can’t really complain. mmmmmMMMM vitamin d. my friend.
so i was reading the newspaper on-line. how is it that 2 people can get shot on a bus and NOBODY comes forward to try and help? i can understand that you’re afraid for your own life, but if you were on that bus, wouldn’t you try to do something? i know that the police can’t be there for your 24/7 so you’ll have to watch your own ass, but if that was someone you knew, wouldn’t you want others to help?
taking on the big G is harder than i thought. i still don’t have a definite thesis or anything. sheeeeeeeeit!
red Leicester cheese is kinda like chedda. i made grilled cheese for my dinner. yeah i know! shaddap! i wanted comfort food, but i don’t have any ketchup, so i decided to be a bit fancy and put tomato pesto on my bread instead. yummy! maybe i can make gourmet grilled cheese sammiches if i can’t find me a job here. and that’s along with my bubble tea stand at Camden market.
i think i’m going to have to use this word now. FLUBBERGUSTED! mel and i coined this phrase when we were in montreal this past summer because all the girls seemed to be wearing VERY form-fitting clothes when they shouldn’t. there’s a difference between having a healthy body image and subjecting others to what you may think is attractive. it is NOT attractive when you have overflow (SJS 2004) over the waistband of your pants, worse yet your ankle boots, or your too tight top because of your massive boobies. there is tasteful and there is trashy. well, i’m absolutely flubbergusted here. i have nothing against overweight people unless they decide to violate my sight, or try to judge me because i don’t fit a B cup or something equally as shallow as that. there are certain clothes that flatter certain body types and low-waist/hiphuggers do NOT work with extra stuff bulging.
i am NOT encouraging anorexia by any means, i just wish people had better taste.
agent orange
posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:29 |
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