Life needs change.

 CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050226
eat your heart out martin luther. these are my beef(ies)
1. the sponge is for washing dishes and not the counter, the sink, the stove or
anything else, that’s what the dishcloths are for
2. squeeze out excess water from the sponge and dishcloths, else they’ll collect
bacteria and stink
3. you CAN handwash the dishcloths
4. refill the filter with more water, there’s no point in having one if you
don’t refill it for the rest of us
5. don’t put your laundry on the kitchen table, that’s tasteless and besides,
most people don’t wipe it down
6. if you’re cooking, stay in the kitchen so that the pot doesn’t overflow – and
no it’s not ok that you’ll clean it up because it’s never cleaned properly and
it still burns the next time someone uses the stove
7. if the door’s propped open and you start cooking, close it, we don’t need to
hear/smell it throughout the rest of the flat
8. a bread knife is for bread
9. food bits will clog the drain, use the sieve that’s what it’s there for
10. if you have the runs, clean up after yourself, it’s all over the toilet, it
stinks and it’s unhygienic
11. don’t let the doors slam – my door shakes and it gets really annoying if
people are going back and forth between their room and the kitchen multiple
times
12. look the front door when you leave
13. if you’re the first one up, shut up
14. don’t open other people’s mail
15. if you have overnight guests coming, please have the courtesy to let the
rest of us know
16. use headphones or keep the volume down
17. why can’t someone else get the toilet paper and garbage bags – if it looks
like it’s going to run out, go get some
18. stop stacking dishes in the dishrack – if things are dry put them away or
nothing will dry
19. please turn of hot water taps all the way
20. if you use a pot or any utensils please clean them soon after, other people
might need to use them
21. when you have a visitor in the kitchen please close the door
22. keep in mind your rooms are NOT sound-proof
23. if you turn on the radiator, turn it off when you leave the room
24. will somebody else buy dishsoap, filters etc other than maja, mina, me?
25. when you take a shower, please try to keep your hair out of the drains
26. take the trash down to the dump
27. don’t throw out the garbage from your room into the one in the kitchen
please
28. read the notices in the elevator – YOU CAN’T THROW OUT CARDBOARD ANYMORE!
29. crush any cartons etc before throwing them out
30. if you find something wrong in the flat, tell everyone else and go tell Ray
yourself

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 16:08 | link | comments (2) |

 CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050225
i’m waiting for the day that mina will snap and yell. i’m really hoping it’ll happen soon. see, japanese people here in this building are still seen by people of other cultures as complacent and easy-going. well, this morning while i was at the gym and chillin’ with uncle spenny and mitchell, t-rex was making unnecessary amounts of noise… a bit more than usual. apparently it sounded like he was lifting furniture and dropping it. so she had no choice but to wake up. added to that, someone had propped open the kitchen door, i usually do that during the day because sometimes it gets really stuffy in the flat and i want some air circulation, or if i’m doing laundry. anyhow, even when i got home and was taking my shower (which now, the shower head is broken) i could hear t-rex banging around and talking REALLY loudly. sigh. so now i’m telling her to just pretend to snap so that other people will be really shocked because she’s acting out-of-character. then t-rex might think that he’s gone too far with this noise and he’ll stop. yeah right!

mitchell is a sports injury dude that helps people with rehab. you really don’t need any qualifications in order to be a personal trainer or anything. he was working 9-9 in london in sales and decided that at 30 he wanted out. so now he does what he’s good at and what he loves. he’s been doing this for 3 years now.

he and spenny started talking about artists and musicians. they seem to think that artists in general are somewhat socially inadept because they’re so focussed on what they’re doing. that they channel all their communicative skills into their creations and seem sheltered. hmm… weird.

Without Sanctuary by James Allen. it’s a tought-provoking book and i’m dumb-founded. it is collection of damning photographs and postcards of lynchings that took place in the states from the late 1800s to as late as 1961. i’ve decided to work with a difficult topic for my poco course. i was originally going to work on the ainu of japan. but to be brutally honest, there’d be nothing here, i don’t know where the ‘art’ part would enter into it, and i HATE reading japanese names and things in english. it’s taxing and then when i see the translation, start thinking about what the characters are for those words.

anyhow, so i read a book review about this a long time ago in the toronto star. it piqued my interest then, but like a lot of things that i was ‘interested’ in, i forgot about it. well, since my presentation was on the harlem renaissance i was noodling on-line for stuff and i came across the (in)famous song ‘strange fruit’ which led me to this book.

i STILL don’t really understand postcolonialism, but i figured this would smack of internal colonialism. Canada is equally as guilty in their treatment of first nations people, but again, limited to what’s available in the library, and i was quite shocked that this book was there, i chose this topic. there’s a lot of museums in the ‘west’ that have hundreds of artefacts and photos that are not as graphic, but equally as damning. i’m somehow going to parallel the book and the museums to show how as much as they’d like to hide them, they’re a part of history regardless of whose narrative we’re following.

lynchings were spectacles. people would sell seats, if you paid more, you could take a shot at the victim. these photographs and postcards were taken and sent as souvenirs. this wasn’t just a white on black crime, it happened to whites, mexicans, asians and native peoples, men and women. there was even ‘black on black’ violence. the only difference was that the most sensationalized and the most violent were the lynchings of black men. people would take pieces of the victim’s clothes, body parts almost like relics that were so venerated by the medieval europeans. forgive me if i insulted any christian with this analogy. as many of those that wrote essays in the foreword wrote, that what’s most disturbing isn’t the violence done to the person, but the crowds that are shown in pictures. people are grinning, clamouring to get into the shot… and some of them show HUGE crowds of people. employers would let their employees out early, parents would write notes to teachers excusing little jimmy’s absence from class because he was at the lynching, newspapers would sometimes publicize time and place. after a while these killings were so commonplace that they merited a little notice in the papers like the weather. what’s even scarier is the things that some people wrote on the postcards.
“warning. the answer of the anglo-saxon race to black brutes who would attack the womanhood of the north.” or “this is the barbecue we had last night. my picture is the the left with a cross over it. your son, joe.” and on the reverse are charred corpses hanging from trees.

admittedly these are extremely disturbing, but so are any other photos of genocide, and brutality. what do we do with them? we can’t just hide them or get rid of them. they were taken for a reason, and like the objects hidden away in archives of museums, they should be exposed for what they are. where am i going with this? i have no clue. but i feel that it’s an obligation for me to write a good paper.

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 05:50 | link | comments (2) |

 CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050222
ok. really. i’m cursed. i now dub hee t-rex. remember that scene in jurassic park where the t-rex is approaching and you can see the water in the glass tremble? that’s what happens whenever the new one walks. he’s such a fuckin’ slob and he’s such a hypocrite. he’s worse than the former slob because he LIED and told me he was a neat freak. i’m beginning to believe that he likes things neat so that he can mess them up!

you know those days when you have so much to do that once you get a chance to stop and just SIT… you think, “shit shit shit. so much more to do… shit, what was it?” and then i sit there thinking, “ok. go on-line because there’s something you have to do.” ok. so now i’m on-line and i can’t for the life of me remember what i had to do. gerblah!

it snowed again. it apparently accumulated on campus… in VERY MINUTE DOSES. hahaha, i STILL hate it, and i don’t think i’ll ever have those lofty and romantic notions of snow. i’ll ALWAYS associate it with damned shovelling! anyhow, the only thing that i might have liked about the snow was the fact that it muffled sound. the funny thing about here and home is that it’s usually warmer when it snows. relative to the clear, really fekkin cold days of minus kill me. here, it’s a lot colder when it snows, prolly because it’s so much warmer here. and then everyone around me complains and whines.

this is REALLY scary and makes me really weary of what i eat here now. so my friend from the states was working for peacecorps in kenya for 2 years. he called around just for the hell of it to see if he can donate blood. the answer was yes. BUT because he’s lived in the uk for more than 6 months he can’t. that’s because of bse. holyfuckingshit!!!!! that scares the shit outta me. i mean, uncle spenny told me not to eat meat unless it’s organic which i already do, but well… you can live in a ‘3rd world’ country for 2 years, but not the uk for 6 months????? what a dirty country!

ok. i so tired and cold-ish that i go shower ‘n’ sleep now.

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 05:49 | link | comments (1) |

 CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050218
hey, guess what? our pipes are leaking AGAIN! this time it’s the water out-take pipe. but it’s not as bad as last time… yet…? it’s supposed to be a new pipe though, wtf?!?!?!? no makey sensee.

anyhow, there was a white trash cat fight last night at around 2:30 am. it was really entertaining. i was almost tempted to go to the kitchen and get the yucky mango and start chucking out the window. anyhow, they were screaming and swearing at the top of their lungs. there was a gentleman who tried to intervene and i tink one of the chicks ended up hitting him or something cuz then HE started swearing and HIS friend had to pull him away saying, ‘it’s not worth it. forget it.’ all the while the bitch that hit him was screaming, ‘it’s your fault. what’d you get in the way for asshole!’ blah blah blah. was entertaining, but at the same time, i just wanted some sleep. i can STILL count on one hand the number of times i’ve been able to sleep through the night here, and this includes first term!

i still don’t get postcolonialism. and i still have to write this stupid, dumbass UNASSESSED essay that i was HOPING i wouldn’t have to do. but i have to waste time that could be spent writing my term paper, but noooooOOOOOOoooooo! if i wanted to fail i’d tell him that it’s ‘boring and irrelevant to me.’ hahahahahahahahaha.

as much as i hate school, i still get that initial excitement when i figure out a research topic and stuff. call me masochistic or nerdy, who cares… but really, i LOVE embarking on something new like this. especially when one of my topics is controversial. mwahahahahahahaha. i LOVE being a shit disturber.

i still haven’t spoken to that woman yet, because apparently i have to print out a copy of my paper and take it to her to look over it again. wtf?!?!?! i’m not GIVING the school anymore money, so i’m waiting for Jamie to come home so i can get it printed out for FREE at school. aaah the beauty of living with a phd stoodent in comp sci. so convenient!

ok so now i go waste my time writing this unassessed piece of crap.

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 05:49 | link | comments |

 

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 14:37 | link | comments (1) |

 

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 14:35 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050209 (+5)

i’m SO fucking angry right now. i’ve never been this pissed off for so fucking long that my head hurts and my jaw is throbbing. if someone gave me an opportunity to work a decent full-time and stable job, i’d ask where to sign. if i saw the housing manager right now, i’d have to slap her. if i saw the fat fuck that has the room beside me, i’d tell him to get out of my sight as fast as possible and not to leave the front door unlocked. if i saw my nitpicky prof right now, i’d have to smack her too. if i had to hear another broad generalization about how ignorant north americans are from someone and that racism DOESN’T exist anymore, i’d have to stomp on that person too. I FUCKING HATE THIS BULLSHIT!!!!!

 

agent orange

 

i’m trying. i’m trying SO hard to remember that i’m a ‘have’ as opposed to a ‘have not’. i have all these opportunities, i have the greatest friends in the world, i have a family, i have my physical health, but right now, it’s SO SO SO hard and i wish i wasn’t so self-absorbed and alone right now. i’m sorry.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 21:15 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050207

i wish i could just hide the toilet paper in my room so that other people will realize that they need to go downstairs to get it rather than using up all the toilet paper in one washroom and then thinking, ‘that’s ok, there’s still the other washroom.’ well DUH, people use the shower too. hey, umm… is this narsty or what? if you don’t cook your food and put it on the counter or say on the stove… why do people use the sponge to wash dishes to wipe off the counter or stovetop? i DID buy kitchen spray so you don’t need to use the dishsoap and there ARE washcloths. jeez and if they complain that they’re dirty, then you wash ‘em too. ugh! 

 

my kuhnee hurts! i cracked it against the stupid kitchen table last night and i guess it did more internal damage than i thought. i had to do squats today. it wasn’t fun. and then i tried to go for a run, and i went in the wrong direction first. i shoulda gone the other way so that i’d be going with the wind on my way back not against! duh! needless to say, it wasn’t a fun day at the gym. ew ew ew, and there’s this NASTY guy that works out at the gym and he keeps looking at me! and he used to have long-ish hair that was so knotted and gross that it was like one giant dread, anyhow he cut it… not like it’ll do him any good, but at least the equipment won’t get so dirty. he’s the kind of idiot that pulls heavy weights, but doesn’t really know what he’s doing and is liable to get injured. he’s got a rug on his back. i swear it’s like austin powers’ chest hair. but he keeps wearing these narsty tank tops. why o why? i’m SO glad i go earlier now so that i’m usually leaving when he’s coming in.

 

 i’ve realized why i’ve been so good with my readings. it’s cuz of this stupid unassessed essay. if i’m not getting a grade on it, why bother? but my prof thinks it’ll behove us. maybe i’ll write another anti-european essay. hahahaha.

 

so, the new guy left his dirty dishes. i don’t care if you leave YOUR PLATES and stuff, but it’s EVERYBODY’S cutlery. fucker! and you say you like things clean, my ass. whatever. he has his gf bring him all this stuff… like we’re talking a 1.5 kg brick of cheese. but we’re running out of room in the fridge because of all his jumbo cheeses and stuff. AND he has caviar. this boy can eat a lot of the same thing. like 5 bananas. or a whole stick-in-the-oven lasagna type thing.

 

i think i’m going to move my desk again. hahahahaha. oh, maybe i should wait until it gets warmer since it’s going to be right beside the window.

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 21:15 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050206

as happy as i was that i have a bank account that accrues interest for me… i don’t have a bank card yet. i need to go grocery shopping tomollo. guess i’ll have to go to the bank and ask them if i can somehow take out money. what an inconvenience! gerblah!

 

as much as i lurves my sticky rice, i found out something bad about it. it takes the teflon off pots. i was initially horrified because there was so much stuck to the bottom of the pot, my precious rice! so i left as much as possible without wasting much and let it soak. and then i realized that the rice was taking off the teflon when i was washing the pot. how scary is that? so i’ve learned the microwave method, all i have to do is get the amount of water right and i have rice! and it’ll never stick to my blue bowl. go woolworth!

 

wow. the floor shakes when he walks. that’s scary. yeah, he IS kinda portly, but still… and he always walks and moves like he’s in such a hurry. i think he’s worse than the slob when he walks back and forth between the kitchen and his room when he’s making his meals.

 

someone tell me if i’m asking for too much here? i’ve noticed that despite the title of my program MA in history of art: aurope, asia, america that i’m really only learning about the uk. i feel like i’ve been somewhat misled. last semster when i was taking the gender and society course much of it centered on the british feminist movement. which i can sorta understand since i am in the uk and then of course the feminist movement was considered ‘universal’ hahahaha! right, like the north american feminist movement was SO similar to the british one. the core course was great because it was theoretical and so it couldn’t necessarily be ___ centric although it could be argued that it was west-centric, but then again so is the canon of art history in which i’m embedded. venice and london well, duh the course name says it all. however, my poco course… we learn about India. well, yeah i know that it’s my prof’s area of specialization and that there are a lot of remants of the past that allude to india… like that eyesore called the brighton pavilion. it looks like a terrible gaudy mix of ‘oriental’ architecture… the kind you’d see at disney’s epcot centre or something. correct me if i’m wrong, but didn’t other nations colonize as well? europe, asia, america… well as much as the uk hates to be considered a part of ‘europe’ and sees the rest of it as the ‘continent’ i guess i AM learning about EUROPE. asia, only in the context of india which of course is closely tied to the uk, and america… NADA! they don’t even have that many books on american art in the 2-book library… so uhhh… yeah. the title is a bit misleading. i’m a little disappointed to be honest. i feel like i’m being cheated out of my thousands of dollars. yes i’m in the uk, yes i will learn things from the british perspective, but i didn’t come here to learn british art history. the freakin’ title was europe, asia, america… i’m debating upon writing about the ainu or the harlem renaissance for my poco course, but well i’d like to learn about ummm… maybe algeria, africa, the caribbean, gee i dunno, pick a country   that was colonized. the scope seems a bit too narrow in my poco course. it seems like a waste that i have to learn about other colonized nations when i technically should be learning about it in my poco course. the title of that is poco’ism and visual culture after all…

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 21:10 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050205

lungs dying. cannot breathe. my room stinks. think i have to ask maja to stop smoking in her room or to stuff something in the space below her door so she can breathe in her own toxins. she’s really stressed right now so she’s smoking more. that stresses me out more too. sucks to live with a smoker. she’s a great person, but her downfall is the smoking. it’s weird. this is a non-smoking flat and when you apply you tick the box beside smoker or non-smoker. my room is cold, my fingers are frozen because my windows are open all day to get rid of the stink. the res people here are retards because they stuck non-smokers in smoking flats and vice versa. DUH! do yourselves a favour and DO YOUR FREAKIN’ JOBS PROPERLY RATHER THAN SITTING AROUND DRINKING TEA AND COMPLAINING ABOUT OUR SENSIBLE REQUESTS!!!!! and why is it that they asked smokers if they minded living in non-smoking accommodations but didn’t ask the non-smokers if they minded living in smoking environments? FUCKERS!

 

smoking is retarded. and i’m sick of smokers who complain that we’re taking away their ‘choice’ to smoke in public places. well, we ALL know that smoking has negative repercussions for non-smokers and you’re taking a choice away from my breathing clean air and smelling clean. it’s NOT like drinking which is also technically bad for people because when one person drinks, the next person doesn’t get blue in the face trying to breathe clean air. yes, alkie breath stinks, but i can’t get lung cancer, emphysema, blah blah blah from breathing in alkie-infused air. if you want to go kill yourselves, don’t involve me please. if i wanted to partake in a mass suicide i’d have drunk my cyanide-laced kool-aid thank you very much. my friend in cambridge has roomies that leave dishes for at least a week, and they don’t acknowledge her presence when they see her. well she wrote a note kindly asking them to wash their dishes, to which they wrote nastily back, ‘we know! we’re NOT in kindergarten.’ and then left them yet again. so she blocked the microwave with them. heh heh heh.

 

the racially segregated party was cool for a while. i didn’t know there were so many japanese students here. there must’ve been about 20 people and i knew ummm… 7? there was no smoking!!!!! that was naice. and since most of us aren’t smokers, the people that do smoke go outside or elsewhere because that’s the way they are. it was cool, but not cool. i don’t think i’ll ever be fully comfy chillin with a group of japanese people like that. i understand what people are talking about, but at the same time, it’s kinda weird. hard to explain.

 

i’m so good today. i’m so disciplined. isn’t it scary when you start wondering when it’s going to come apart? i actually FEEL like doing my readings and i didn’t keep glancing at the page numbers to see if i was getting anywhere. it’s not like these are particularly interesting to be honest, but they’re getting done and that’s all that matters. although truth be told i’m getting sick of reading about poco in india. what about the rest of the colonized nations? fuck at the same time i’m lazy. if i don’t understand it after the first reading then i’m sorry, but i don’t care to read it until i do, unless i have to. write in fucking english!!!!! if the topic’s that important to you then write it so that it’s accessible you fucking elitist asshole!!!!!

 

at least i have a distraction for a few hours tomorrow cuz i go to see brahms’ symphony #4. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

fragile x syndrome – an inherited condition characterized by an X chromosome that is abnormally susceptible to damage, especially folic acid deficiency. Affected individuals tend to have limited intellectual functions.

 

i want to eat street meat, falafels, jerk chicken,  okonomiyaki, pho, eat some home cookin’, smell a skunk (yeah, i know that’s weird!), call people for free, hear some decent hip-hop, drink a malibu 7 (thanks chris), find shoes in my size, catch some z’s on the subway, pet my cat, hear his purr, and blow in his smelly mouth when he’s yawning, use a metropass, go on-line as a please, hear different languages, sing to my music, not have my desk shake when someone allows their doors to slam… but then i can’t hear the waves, walk on the beach, go for a run along the shore, drink good tea for cheap, be in school, create a different identity, meet different people, go travelling, go to london, have freedom from my parents, do things for myself without having my parents take over because they think i’m incompetent… (comfort v. life? ) BLEH!

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 21:09 | link | comments |

  

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050204

ok. so there was this guy fiddling with the electronic stuff outside our flat. APPARENTLY we’re getting our internet hookup next week. right. i’ll believe it when i see it.

 

ok. now for brit marie claire!!!!! pornaoke… acting out sex scenes karaoke-style at a club in edinburgh. a device that makes a chick’s celly into a vibrator. oh look, vending machines with sex toys. ok this one’s creepy, they now make wallpaper with life-size celebrities on them so you’ll never feel lonely. marie claire isn’t as fun as cosmo.

 

i’m tired. and AND AND i’ve been able to sleep through the night… once since i came back here a month ago. and that was last night. grr! at least i don’t have a sty on my eye today.

 

it looks kinda freaky out there today. there’s a slight fog and the sky and sea are the same colour. so unless you look closely you can’t tell where the water ends and where the sky starts.

 

today i write with my left hand. my right elbow hurts. stupid gimpiness. i’m going to a racially segregated party today. hahahaha, it’s for some Japanese student thingy and it’s across the hall from my flat. so i go with mina.

 

fuck! this country is going to give me lung cancer. i STINK LIKE CIGARETTES!!!!! i can’t wait until i get back to canada where smoking is illegal in most places. dirty dirty dirty. and people here complain that london’s air is ‘so dirty,’ right. try smelling yourselves.

 

this glob sucks.

 

agent orange

 

 

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 21:08 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050203

so as it goes, there IS a conspiracy that’s involved with the shower. today mr. moneyman that budgets all the expenses for the whole building gave us the definite ok to get a new shower. BUT BUT BUT it will take a few weeks for the order to be filled and will probably take another few to install it, fix the flooring underneath etc etc. I KNEW THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY BEHIND IT!!!!!

 

oooooooooooh buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn. is all i have to say. there’s these work-in-progress seminars that the school holds for the various disciplines where people who’re doing their phds. there’s a q&a part afterwards where people can ask qs, give suggestions etc. there’s this crazy old man with a terrible comb over that always asks these weird questions. he’s been removed from the e-mail list and it’s not like they can bar him from sitting in, and so they often try avoiding his questions. the speakers are often warned by our convenor to beware of his questions as well. it’s kinda mean, but he’ll make these absolutely bizarre connections like anglo-saxon traditions with greek orthodox practice. today’s topic was about racism in the canon of british art (re: gilroy’s there ain’t no black in the union jack) and that blacks are excluded. sounded interesting so i went. it was pretty good because i don’t know all the political hoopla involved with the union jack, like the fact that it was taken as a symbol for the national front which is the right-wing political party here. well, the crazy man asked this question which me and cherry didn’t really pay attention to, because she was explaining cornwall to me. (i’ll get to it.) well, my prof for my poco class whom i admire as an extremely brilliant person who asks these can-i-get-back-to-you type questions blurted out, “well this is really irrelevant and boring to me and…” WHAAAAAAAAAAA~T?!?!!?!? you can’t say that? i mean we all sorta humour this man now, and the speakers usually are good-natured about him, but from my prof? holycraponmyhead. so liz, the convenor who was fielding the questions interjected, reprimanded him and allowed the man to continue. it was an extremely elitist/academicist (yes this word exists in the nictionary) and ageist comment. i mean here we are talking about racism, and then he goes and creates another ‘issue.’yes, he was saying what we were all thinking and of course he went to speak to liz afterwards to plead his case. but in the end it was like the petulant child being reprimanded by mommy. his actions must have severe repercussions for his career within the uni and maybe in general. profs aren’t perfect, i mean look at my other one, but it was SO uncomfortable.

 

ok so cornwall. it’s this city somewhere in southern england that has their own flag and decided they wanted to be their own country or something crazy like that. right.

 

i’m drawing again. i was famous for my pen and ink crosshatched drawings back in high school and my pen is kinda crappy, but i didn’t realize how much i missed it until i whiled away the hours when i was supposed to be working on my presentations. teeheehee. no i cannot do ANY figural art. well ok, i can try to draw a person and it’ll look like a person, just not the person i’m supposed to be depicting. it’s all abstract. just the way i like it.

 

according to spencer i’m not canadian. i’m just ‘weird.’= ) that pleases me to no end.

 

agent orange

 

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 16:53 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050130

why does my hair look so good before i go to bed? i’ve had this habit of combing my hair before going to bed when i was a little kid and i haven’t been able to kick it. i dunno, maybe i had to look presentable to my prince charming in my dreams??? anyhow, so i’ve noticed as of late that my hair will look bleh during the day, but before i go to bed is when it looks best. so weird.

 

wow. i really don’t care. i have two presentations on tuesday and i haven’t written anything out yet. i just don’t give a shit. all my notes are done for one… sorta… i have to go to the slide library, see what we actually have and if nothing then i LAUGH! and not care. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck i hate this.

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:05 | link | comments (2) |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050128/29

WE’RE GETTING A NEW SHOWER!!!!! ok so there’s no conspiracy in that. ummm… shoot. oh here we go. so my ‘partner’ for my presentation? she decided to do everything on her own. great. thanks for wasting my freakin’ time. bitch. and now I’M STUCK MAKING THE FUCKING HANDOUT BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T HAVE TIME!!!!! right like i don’t have 2 presentations to do that day. plus the fact that she won’t give the books up that i might need. so i will blame the french in my postcolonial presentation. muhahahahaha. juss kidding. i don’t know exactly what i’m doing yet.

 

mariko has a fever. 38°C. wowee. she seems to have to flu. ugh! hope i don’t get and i hope it doesn’t spread through the flat. that would suck. then we’d all have to blame her. she seems otay though… well as ok as you can be with a fever like hers. apparently it’s one degree better than yesterday. poor girl.

 

i got free coffee today. thank you uncle spenny! he’s taking his other half to prague in april. so naice! in the summer to croatia and to america in the fall. must be naice to be able to travel so much. need to find me a job as soon as i finish my stupid resume!

 

i had my little triumph today. everyone always comes to me to tell me things are wrong or they just don’t say anything. i’m always the one that goes to tell ray what’s going on in our flat. well, the radiators aren’t working. but i don’t give a fuck because i never use them. so if they’re broken, they’ll stay broken until someone else says something. i don’t care. it’s not my problem. eeeeheheheheheee.

 

ok. here’s something else that’s really kinda fucked up. andreas went back home this weekend because it’s his birthday and his parents want to see him. his girlfriend is HERE for the weekend. he spoke to her before he left and of course she’s going to say it’s ok, i mean why would anybody be stupid enough to come between their sig other and his/her parents? duh! anyhow, she came with a boy whom i haven’t met yet. what annoys me about this is that andreas never told us. he left his keys with maja papaya and told only her that his gf is coming here for the weekend. what, like the rest of us shouldn’t know so we’re just going to walk into the kitchen and be like, ‘who the fuck are you?’ he kept sms-ing maja from sweden and asking her if his gf was here yet or not… why can’t he call/sms his gf? so maja was like the go-between for andreas and his gf. WEIRD!

 

hahaha. i just looked out the window and saw a seagull settle down. y’know like when someone sorta wiggles around before sitting down because they have a wide load? man this one is FET!

 

agent orange

 

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:04 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050127

my prof for my venice and london 18^th C. class makes me SO angry!!!!! he’s SO disorganized. we’re supposed to have a reading list by the beginning of the term. nada. so last week when we had our first class he said he’d look at what we were all interested in and devise one. nada. we’re supposed to do these stupid un-assessed presentations on certain topics. normally the profs will allow us to choose the topic and stuff, he chose for us. tuesday’s class came and went. he did most of the talking. he said that by wednesday noon we’d have a reading list for the rest of the term. nada. we got it today. i have to present this coming tuesday. of course if the reading list isn’t made up, then the books we need won’t be placed on short-term loan in the library and they cannot MAGICALLY be done. the person i’m working with LIVES ON CAMPUS AND SHE TAKES OUT THE BOOKS WHEN SHE CAN GO AND READ THE FUCKING PHOTOCOPIES IN THE SLIDE LIBRARY/GRAD CENTRE!!!!! and on top of that i have ONE book to work from and she has 3. funny thing is, she wanted to work with me… why? i mean she’s a cool girl, but SO high strung. i thought i already gave everyone else the impression that i don’t get all worked up about shit. my prof suggested that we make handouts. firstly, if the seminar doesn’t go quite as he planned, well fuck off. i have better things to do than wait around for you to give me late instructions on what to present on. do it yourself then buddy. secondly, i’m not going to make a handout. sorry, photocopying is NOT in my budget and so i will e-mail it to everyone. thirdly, you’ve been teaching at this fucking university for a good 25+ years. get your act together! will i do the readings? nah. the books are unavailable in the library and i refuse to photocopy articles that i’ll never read again.

 

it’s raining cats and dogs again. not quite as cold as yesterday. SIGH! why do we bother having a lock on the front door if you don’t bother with it? jeezy peezy, i don’t care that there’s a porter overnight, and that there’s cameras by both entrances to the building. close the fucking lock!!!!! why can’t you just treat it like the front door to your house or something?

 

hey hey. i just read something that triggered my memory. i was talking to tim, my neighbour whom i mooch music off of, and he was telling me this story of when he was on the beach somewhere with his gf (at the time) that all her hair began to stand on end like when you stick your hand on that thingy at the science centre. apparently that meant that she was at a high risk of getting struck by lightening. i dunno if this is true or not, but that’s fucking freaky because that means that i’m more liable to get struck by lightening because regardless of the season I’M STATIC!!!!! i was hoping it wouldn’t be so bad here because there’s so much more dampness in the air. wishful thinking my friends. anyhow, if any of you know your fizix please lemme know if this is true so i can ummm… ground myself before going out in a thunderstorm.

 

bags bags bags. dark circles, when will i get a decent night’s sleep? there have still been only 2 occasions that i’ve been able to sleep through the night without waking up. and both were before i went home. AND i’ve been breaking out like mad. before i went home, it wasn’t so bad. hey that rhymes!

 

agent orange

ps this is for stephie. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOZART!!!!! i only know cuz it’s the same day as my sister’s b-day.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:04 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050126

i think as an artsy i kinda get short-changed. while i fork over the same amount as everyone else for tuition, i spend so much less tangible time in the classroom. i guess in a sense you can see it as the beginnings of ideas and certain thought processes that are long-term… but then don’t people in other disciplines also have these same benefits? why should i have to pay to learn independently?  i don’t get it.

 

this is SO SO SO lame. i had to drink hot water while i was working out this morning. all of you know my disdain for stationary machines… i was doing my weights workout and as time progressed my fingers got colder and cold and colder. so i went up to james, ‘hey uhh james are you going to have tea any time soon? could i get some hot water?’ how pathetic is that?

 

i’m SO full. i’m about to explode… but at the same time i still want to eat. so me and mariko went to eat mina’s fave noodle in soup with duck. MMMMMMMMmmmmMMMMMM! SO GOOD! but SO full… but it’s that liquidy full… not necessarily a food full. what a dilemma. and i have a twitch in my left eye… fabulous.

 

ok. i watched a short documentary film about sierra leone called ‘cry freetown.’the gentleman giving out the flyers in the ‘library square’ the open space in front of the library steps, is a refugee from ghana. he’s the leader of the organization ‘friends of africa society’ and he’s a very charismatic figure. if he tries to return to ghana he’d be killed. he left the country with a bounty on his head. well he gave a flyer to ileana as we were walking to the library and my friend christian happened to be there too. he said that it’s a great documentary, and it’s also really depressing. but i thought… well it looks interesting… why not? and i figured what with all my recent whining i needed something to put me in my place.

 

sorius samura, now works for unicef metinks and he documented the rebels entering freetown, sierra leone in 1999. the rebels went around killing and amputating people because they literally took the right to vote from people by cutting their hands so they could no longer use a ballot. he spoke of the diamonds that were sought that caused much of this turmoil. and like most exploited peoples, the people of sierra leone will never be able to afford, let alone see a diamond that a westerner would. it was short. it was violent. it was the kind of thing that sticks in your mind a long time afterwards. my crappy command of the english language doesn’t do it any justice of course, but it was so raw. as the rebels forces advanced, the nigerian troops entered. the seed of democracy was planted, but once they actually wanted a democracy, the democratic nations wouldn’t help. the nigerian troops were part of a unit of african militia that acts like a mini-un within africa along with other african armies. he filmed this part where there was a sniper inside a building that was killing many of the nigerian soldiers and when they were finally able to get inside the building they found a little boy. a doctor had intervened on his behalf, else he would’ve been killed by the troops like the other person who was found near this building.  this child moses was only 12. i’m crying as a write this, and i normally hate children, but why and how can people do this? a year later samura visited the orphanage specially created for these children and the boy moses was there. this child is SO damaged it’s like he’s mentally handicapped. it’s sad that the nigerian troops couldn’t even trust ANY of the children that they saw because so many of them were kidnapped, drugged and forced to be these killing machines for the rebel forces. children are supposed to be innocent, THEY are the ones that we’re supposed to protect. all this for a stupid rock. ha! diamond is my birthstone.

 

 i remember reading an article in a magazine about how a diamond can be made out of ashes. so say aunt bessie dies, you can now send her ashes to this laboratory somewhere in the states and they can make a diamond out of her. i remember a lot of people saying that that was pretty morbid, gross, etc etc. well, what’s worse? aunt bessie or the lives of children, the limbs of people and the morale of a nation?

 

i know this is going on elsewhere in the world for the benefit of the west, i knew this was going on in sierra leone. and when this ghanian gentleman brought this up as an obvious issue in front of a panel for a teacher’s association it was of course eclipsed by the tsunami disaster. he said that an asian, who’d lost family in the recent disaster asked the rest of the teachers to consider the issue not only in sierra leone, but most of africa. he asked why should it matter HOW a child dies, whether it be by war, tsunami whatever. if the media were to make this a pressing issue then we now see that the average citizen, more than the gov’t is willing to give money or support any cause that seems to be pressing and harrowing enough. so why isn’t this important enough?

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:02 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050125

it snowed. i’d thought it wouldn’t have such a negative effect on me, but it sorta did. i was sorta down after realizing that it had snowed. granted it was nuthin’. it didn’t even accumulate on the ground, it just melted. but the way it falls. it kinda looks like it’s pelting rain… except that it’s snow. and it’s SO brief 5 mins then it’s gone. it even snows funny here! ileana and michelle were kinda giddy about it – mexico and portugal respectively.

 

so i was reading my favourite magazine strut, which by the way is canadian… anyhow, they usually have a list of things that obsess and ­­upset them. the BEST thing i saw that upset them was POSES OF THE MODELS IN SEARS CATALOGUES!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaa! we ALWAYS made fun of them at work, finally someone in the media has heard us. i laughed out loud, oh what a perfect counter-balance to the snow!

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:01 | link | comments (2) |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050123

ok. people keep telling me that the brits come next to the americans in the race for obesity. i dunno. my shoe size apparently doesn’t exist. either that or my feet are shrinking. if i look at my skechers that i wear right now, i’m supposed to be a 3.5 in uk sizes. so i try on a 3.5 sometimes even a 3, and inside THAT shoe it tells me i’m a 5 in us sizes. EH?! i don’t get it. either way, i didn’t find the shoes that i wanted because the manufacturer doesn’t make my size. fuckers!

 

ok. this is really fucked up, but SO funny. so julian, mariko’s flatmate HATES it here. he hates the brits, and ironically he’s good-natured about it, and always has these conspiracy theories. i think a lot of this is because he wasn’t able to write his term paper and so was still stuck with it as of yesterday. this is his theory: CARROTS. we got back to mariko’s place and we bought ben’s cookies. kinda like mrs. fields… anyhow, we were eating those and he wandered in peeled a carrot and began to eat it. then he started talking, “y’know i really hate these british carrots. i mean they taste terrible! munch munch munch. i mean this is the reason why they don’t have any rabbits around. it’s because these carrots taste SO bad.”and i started to tell him about how i couldn’t find any shoes. “those BASTARDS! see, it’s all about these carrots. if they had carrots that tasted good then the kids would actually eat their vegetables rather than eating all this junk food and turning into fat adults that drink a lot. this is why you can’t find your shoe size. it’s because they’re so fat that they don’t have small feet anymore!”hahahaha. anna, mariko’s flatmate was booking a ticket for her sister to come visit her in the spring. so i asked her what her sister was studying and the answer was: architecture. thus julian proceeded to say that he wanted her to build him a flat here in brighton that’s makes sense. like the fact in their kitchen you need to open the kitchen door in order to open the freezer door or else it’ll hit the door handle… go fig! s-m-r-t eh? anyhow, so i mentioned the kitchen as well as, “hey, what about a lot of sun so that you can GROW YOUR OWN CARROTS! then the brits can have rabbits as pets. and then they’ll HAVE to buy YOUR carrots in order to keep their rabbits alive. then you can make LOTSA money!” hahahaha heeheehee. it’s all about the carrots indeed. i guess you had to be there. never mind.

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:01 | link | comments |

 

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050121

ok. no i REALLY don’t get it. WHILE we’re stoodents we have to write in a way that’s readable, approachable, legible. so why are all the texts that we ever have to read are illegible?! i mean we’d always joke about it as students, but it’s SO true. all i keep reading is trope, incommensurability, aporia, diaspora blah blah blah. why can’t they write coherently? are they so full of themselves that they can’t do it anymore? i don’t care for epistemology, synechdochical… just plain ole english. what happened to those days where i could skim? ok so i technically do that now, i just skim over the hard stuff and take what substance i can. because if i can’t read it, then it has NO substance to me.

 

hey guys, didjoo know that adobe reader can actually READ something to you? it’s this incredibly robotic voice like uhh…“fitter, happier more productive…” y’know that radiohead track from ok computer? yeah, i was opening a file and happened to look at ‘view’ and it said ‘read out loud’. who woulda thunk it?

 

hahahaha. Sabina is SO funny. she’s been asking everyone if they have a lighter because she wants to light the candles in her room. so i told her to go to the flat next door cuz almost everyone smokes there. well… she ended up going, with her candle. see i thought that she’d go, get the lighter, and then return it afterwards. so i was teasing her the whole time she was walking down the hall with her lit candle. silly silly silly!

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 15:00 | link | comments (2) |