CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050418

ok. so you know what REALLY pisses me off? racist asswipes. i’m on my way to the train station so i can hand in my term papers at school. i pass by this place where they’re doing construction and there’s scaffolding. lo and behold there’s actually people doing work there today! (normally around here, there’s scaffolding and no work being done) anyhow, i hear this mean, mocking voice yelling down at me. it’s sorta cackly, almost like how you’d imagine a witch’s voice. it’s saying

“kanichiwa! kanichwa!”

wtf?! o, he’s supposed to be saying,  “konnichiwa.” right. so i ignore him and keep going. on my way home he starts to cackle something else… this time supposively in Chinese. right. i TOTALLY wanted to turn around, smack him and kick the shit outta him for his sheer ignorance and white-trash attitude, but i kept walking and got angrier by the second. his co-workers were there and regardless, i’d get my ass whupped cuz it’s the white man’s word over mine. any day… especially in this city.

i HATE how people try to convince me that there’s racism in Toronto. well DUH of course it’s EVERYWHERE. but the worst i’ve had to deal with as of late is all those stupid boys who have an asian fetish! mina’s boy toy is white. he was ‘interrogating’ me as to why i was leaving and i said cuz i hate it here. i’ve had bad experiences and i’m not going to stick around for them to get worse. he at first tried to blame it on the people who live in moulsecoomb, which is a council estate where the government has a housing project. they apparently have a beef with brighton because it’s a ‘rich’ city. fine, but i wasn’t in moulescoomb i was here. asswipe. and then he said, ‘where did you grow up?’ and i told him Toronto to which he replied, ‘well there must be racism in Toronto as well.’ no fucking guff. but i’ve never had food thrown at me, been spit on or hear people talk about me behind my back when i go grocery shopping. and i was SO tempted to tell him, ‘yeah, there is racism. especially the kind where people like you have an asian fetish. cuz i can see RIGHT THROUGH YOU!’ but mina was there. so i just continued to cut my vegetables, but much louder. he also doesn’t see that the uk suffers from a SEVERE superiority complex. they are NOT the centre of the world.

DON’T you DARE dismiss what happened to me. don’t you DARE tell me that it doesn’t happen here because it does. and the reason why you’d NEVER understand in a million years is because you’ll NEVER have to worry about it. what’s the worst someone can call a white person? white trash, wigger? i couldn’t even think of any sort of comeback for the ignorant construction worker because there’s no equivalent! we speak the same fucking language. ENGLISH!

it’s really cool when things you’ve learned in school finally make sense to you in the real world and you have that eureka moment where it falls into place. it really sucks when it’s something negative that’s happened to you and you realize what the scholars were talking about. it’s the whole thing about critiquing something using the same words/language of the people that you are critiquing. ie: postcolonialism. if you’re someone writing on PC and you’re from a former colony, your frame of reference is always the colonizer. ditto for feminism.

so now i’m sitting on the windowsill of my ‘room’with my sports bra on because the sun feels so naice on my back. i don’t want to be outside anymore because i might get taunted again. i’m sick of the superiority complex that the british have and i can’t wait to get back.

agent orange

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050413

HI HONEY I’M HO~ME!!!!! anyhow, so i get back, step into the kitchen to give mina a hug and my foot kinda sticks to the floor. well… dungheap aka shitpit has decided to purchase an industrial-sized can of pineapples. no really, it’s HUGE… tho i think it’s smaller than his fat belly. anyhow, he opened it and of course spilled it… i’m just glad that our kitchen’s being cleaned this morning else i’d have to kick his ass… no wait… umm… throw a chair at him i don’t want to lose my legs. i hate being back when it’s not quite home. i don’t have the motivation to work on my essays when i gave myself a deadline of this friday though… SHIT!

i’ll give a whole rome trip story sometime. in short, it was fabulous, the food was fabulous, the people were fabulous and i don’t want to be back in dreary, ugly old england.

agent orange

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050401

ok. call me selfish, but if the pope dies, i’m screwed. i was talking to my flatmate yesterday and he said, ‘wounldn’t it be funny if the pope died while you were in rome? err i mean bad choice of words, but think about it. the WHOLE city will be in a panic and EVERYTHING will be closed.’ JEEZY PEEZY why o why?

sabina was telling me that when her parents went to rome for the first time, their first morning there they were literally brought out of bed with people shouting ‘pope morte!’ or however you spell it. the pope passed away while they were there; their hotel was close to the vatican. at least we’re away from the city centre… but still. and of course they could do NOTHING. sheeeeeeeeeeeit!

so now everyone’s making fun of meeeeeeeeeeee. uncle spenny at the gym today told me the pope was going to die. and i said, ‘NO! he’s going to live for another 2 weeks so that i can go to rome and have a normal vacation.’ YES IT’S SELFISH!!!!! dammit. oops i mean, sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. uncle spenny guaranteed it. and we all said, ‘oh reeeally today eh? how do you know for sure.’ and he was joking around and said, ‘i was talking to giorgio who owns a pasta shop in rome and he told me.’

awww man. why o why? now i’ll know NEVER EVER to convert to roman catholicism if my trip to rome is gets screwed up. whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? is it because of my blasphemous/atheistic jokes? is it because i always say that a church will get struck by lightening if i go to a church service and the congregation will gain a bad reputation? nooooooooooooooooooooo. yes i’m being selfish and i want the pope to live a lil longer until i come back. and he refuses to go back to the hospital… sigh. please just go. i wonder if there’s any trip cancellation insurance like that. heh heh heh… waaaaaaah!

agent orange

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050330       

guys. there’s no conspiracy theory today because the HUGEST weight has been lifted off my shoulders and i’m just so relieved right now that i can’t stop crying. i didn’t realize how much stress this was causing me until i read the e-mail. i’ve been waiting for a week because my convenor has been away until now. i saw that there were new message in my inbox and saw that one of them was from her. so i opened it.

i

can

come

home

early.

 i’m going to be back by the end of april. this is one of the bestest things that could happen to me... hahaha, remember my excitement/anxiety when i first got in? all i have to do is re-book my ticket and i’m free. i’ve waited for a week to see what my convenor would say, and she gave me the go-ahead. bless her heart. i told her the truth. i told her the bullshit i’ve had to put up with here, and i wasn’t using it as a ‘get out of jail card’ although this place DOES feel like a jail, but i can go.

all i have to do is wait to hear a confirmation that someone will definitely take my room in april.

agent orange