Life needs change.

CHANGE #20050925/6

so now that uc has cleaned out my wallet, i hope that they’re happy! jeezy peezy! who woulda thunk to make cover charge $10!!!!! and to quote aruny, ‘why’re we helping to send chinese kids to china? don’t they have enough of ‘em over there?’ hahaha. juss kidding. it was fun. especially cuz i got to stamp phil’s forehead. i hope it came off… or not… hahahahaha. it was naice to see j-me again! it’s funny how some people change as time goes by. it seems that their good qualities become overshadowed by their bad ones that have just gotten worse.

so i’m reading this article http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/magazine/daily/12690188.htm about what good the arts can do. the author takes a literal view on it… in the sense of the recent flooding and damage caused by the biggie in new orleans. (sorry, i think naming hurricanes is just… STRANGE) the author says that it can be useful in the sense of fundraising, but he says in essence that we can take what we can get. a piece of art or music may not have any significance to one person, but it could be worth a lot for the next.

and then i started thinking about all those times you hear the age old argument of spending millions on a painting while x’s son lies dying in a hospital. THEY’RE INCOMPARABLE!!!!! how can you compare a human life to a painting? i’m sure there are budgetary issues that disallow the funds from one department to be shifted to another unless in cases of emergency or something.

and then there’s this other issue with italy’s outdoor artwork. if you’ve ever been, it’s like walking into a giant living, breathing art history book. for someone who’s only been able to see things in textbooks or slides, it’s AWESOME! anyhow, they’re talking about what should be done about a lot of the fountains and statues that are exposed to pollution, vandals and the like. apparently there are idiots who CLIMB things to get a pic and then break the hand off. brilliant! http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/news/story/0,11711,1577813,00.html so now that i’ve finished my stupid, dumb ass thesis on art authenticity… it’s been long enough of a rest for it… i can talk about it again. well some art historians were saying that they should put the pieces in museums where they won’t be as susceptible to damage and put replicas in their place. well when i first read that i thought of how much of a shame it would be for people to go to a city such as rome only to see nothing, but the same old crap you’d see in any other urban centre. buildings, people, streets, but not much history. booooooring. replicas? hmm… well… how would you feel if you went to go see a famous piece of art in a museum only to find out later that the original piece is actually in the vaults? do you care? i dunno. but isn’t it the same as someone lip-synching at a live concert?

oh. the reason why i’m writing about all these arts issues is because i subscribe to this on-line arts thingy where they compile all arts articles for you and send it to you. you can get it, daily, weekly or monthly and it’s FREE. i think i actually got it from an ad on sue’s old blog actually. hahahaha.

i called my friend omar this morning. and as we were talking i asked him, ‘hey, did i just wake you up?’ and i hadn’t but he didn’t really speak to anyone yet. he had his ‘morning’ voice going on. hahahahaha. he tried to make it sound better by calling it the ‘man’ voice. meh mel knows what i like about certain male voices, and his is quite sexy. anyhow, he’s the one that’s a singer. so…EVERYONE, IF YOU LOVE ME, PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR OCTOBER 18^TH WHEN HIS GROUP’S CD WILL FINALLY BE RELEASED!!!!! THE NAME OF THE GROUP IS ‘THE SHOW’ AND THE NAME OF THE ALBUM IS ‘DEBT, SWEAT & TEARS’. their website is the only link i have on this blog. anyhow, their album has been pushed back for eons now. i remember i was supposed to get my hands on that album before i left for the uk. early enough that i could send them out to friends in japan and take some to the uk with me. omar’s also my awesome massage therapist. ok, so he’s still going to school for it, but he might have to sacrifice another year of school because he might go on tour in late november. anyhow, he’s already messed around with his edumacation at centennial because of this, and i’d like to see him and his group succeed because of all the sacrifice that’s gone into it. not to mention many of the relationships he had to give up because he didn’t have enough time.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uklatest/story/0,1271,-5303506,00.html michael howard you’re an IDIOT! yes let’s make EVERYONE assimilate to the tea and crumpet society because we’ve been TOO LENIENT AND CULTURALLY GENEROUS! that just smacks of racism and perhaps denial of colonialism. he will demand a better understanding of British democracy, monarchy, history and the rule of law. you too can learn about shooting first and denying questions later. you too can learn british history and why your ancestors were slaves. he said something similar before too. so what if he’s the son of an immigrant, he’s the colour of majority.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 21:22 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20050923     

lude. wtf!? isn’t it LEWD? it’s great how people who are in the press can SPELL!

whatever. phil/jess/awol lawrence/and fine… jason’s party was fun. lotsa good food to be had at phil’s. tsu ching and yoko are definitely marriage material. whoops. err… i mean yeah. i made my cookies… y’know if i’m desperate for a job, i think i might have to bribe people to hire me with my cookies, better yet, i’ll just outsell mrs. fields. hmmph! stupid bitch! hahahahaha. i tink we might’ve made too much noise though… phingu came down? up? to visit as i was leaving and he said that he could hear us. whoops. but we’re uc, we’re loud! jamie made her cameo appearance… WOO!

i was just chattin’ with aruny about this, but the whole kate moss fiasco is stupid. so many companies are ‘dropping’ her as a spokemodel because she was honest enough to admit she sniffed coke?! so what? she’s not the first and not the last person so powder her nose what gives? what? o they don’t endorse drug use. well isn’t the whole modelling industry a little ‘corrupt’ in that sense? anorexia, smoking, cattiness, beauty not brains… and what about some of the companies’ policies such as possible child-labour, environmentally unfriendly products etc… riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! not like i’d ever do that shit, and i know some people that have… apparently 50 thousand londoners are crackheads. but it’s ‘make moss a monster’ not a sympathetic look at some other celebrities who’ve been caught with drugs.

so i’ve noticed that if i cut/paste my glob entries with word the paragraphs get smaller and smaller in descending order. strange no?

so i was getting the ingredients ready to bake my cookies and my mother looks at me and says, ‘now look at the butter there and remember the amount of cholesterol that’s in there.’ and i said nothing although in my head i was thinking, ‘right and i’m going to eat the WHOLE batch!’ and then she went on, ‘so you know you shouldn’t be eating anything like that once you’re 30.’ still saying nothing and in my head thinking, ‘yes, of course, that’s why you buy dad all these nasty processed foods for snacks… i’m sure my cookies are a death sentence.’

it’s funny how my mother naturally assumes that i care about fat, calories, and cholesterol. i just hate eating certain things because they just don’t taste good. like i’m not a fan of eating fat that’s on meat. the texture is narsty and it’s gross. but my mother assumes it’s because it’s fat. she keeps going on and on ad nauseum about some shit and i really don’t care. after all these years, i’m sure that her litany has done some good so just SHUT UP!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 13:52 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20050920    

ok. so i turned down the job at jane/finch. because it’s 9-1 or 1-5. the hours are crazy stupid and it’d take me the same time travelling there as it would working. if i were to find me another part-time job, i’d have a bitch of a time getting from there to the other place. if it was full-time i’d have taken it in a heartbeat. plus, it’s a contract. if i were to take it, i’d be obligated to stay until the project they’re working on is done. i don’t know if i want to lock myself into that position if there’s a carrot dangling in front of me.

yes it seems presumptuous of me to do so considering i don’t have any other job offers, but at the same time, i can see the commute killing me. especially since the ttc has been less than reliable and i don’t want to spend every day worrying if i get there on time. but but but, aaaaaaaaaugh! I HATE HOW INDECISIVE I’VE BECOME!!!!!

that david banner song ‘play’ is REALLY creepy. and the video is even creepier. it’s all these girls ‘working out’ except that he’s just sitting there reading a newspaper watching them. as they ‘sweat’ and stick their asses out in that bullshit step machine ass-shaking way. ok so the lyrics have been cleaned up for radio, but still… and then there dear mariah carey. ok. so vocally that woman can still sing, but her crazy make-up, shoes and attire are just too much now. she’s too much. hahaha go me. i’m dissecting music videos. how pathetic!

oh but don’t get me started on dear gwen stefani. i’ve lost A LOT of respect for her. i was flipping through the channels and there was a much music spotlight on her. well she was doing an interview with her four ‘muses’ and they were just SITTING there. and so jen hollett asked her if they ever spoke and she said no, they’re just there and they’re totally inspirational. go china dolls! i hope that they all got green cards so that they can just drop gwen and exploit their ability to work in the states… although i don’t know if i’d really want to either. especially after having been treated like chattel.

yay. i got my cheques from the ex. hahahaha, that makes it sound like i was married, got a divorce and we didn’t sign a pre-nup. funny how the idea of a pre-nup is SUCH a western concept. i was joking with tomoko from japan and i had to explain what a pre-nup was. anyhow, i got my final cheques from my stint at the cne. woohoo!

went to the library again on monday. nothing wrong with lotsa reading right? i mean i have all the time in the world. ‘the mysterious flame of queen loana’ by umberto eco. wow. a fabulous book about a man who lost his memory/memories. so he remembers facts and literary quotes because he read a lot as a child and because he works in selling antique books, but he can’t recognize his family or friends. so he returns to his childhood home to ‘find’ his memories, by going through what he read/wrote as a child. it must really resonate with an italian person who lived in the same time period of the character because he reminisces about ww2, the music, the comics and facism. anyhow, despite the obvious generational and cultural gap, it’s still an awesome book.

so now i’m so pathetic that i’m applying to freakin’ retail jobs! yes, i’m excited about the possibility of working in this boutique that i’ve always liked. it’s ok, it’s got bay street hours and wicked merchandise. I NEED A JOB AND IT’S TOTALLY STRESSING ME OUT BECAUSE IT’S SLOWLY FUCKING UP MY EATING HABITS AND SUCH!!!!!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 01:24 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20050916

went to this lil place called ‘jules’ for din-din with aruny last night. he had quiche with a side of fries. it was more like fries with a side of quiche. i had mussels and fries. the fries were REALLY good. i keep wanting to write friends… hahahaa cuz fries are friends if they taste good. anyhow, it was listed in now magazine’s cheap eats thingy. well it wasn’t TOO cheap, but then again, i’m used to chinatown cheap. but it’s still worth it.

i’m reading irvine welsh’s ‘porno’. not a bad book, but a good chunk of it is written almost phonetically with scot accents. not an easy read at times. it’s funny what a reaction you get from people looking at the cover of the book you’re reading. so the cover of porno has the open mouth of a blow up doll and you can see her boobies. the back shows her deflated back. oh the looks of derision and horror. prudes.

i applied to harbucks. yeah i hate their coffee now, but i need a job. and i like their pay and benefits packages. hahaahahahaha well that’s only if i were to work there full-time. but i hope i get the job there too. cuz then once my other job’s contract is up i can work at sutaba (the japanese way of shortening the name) more or pick up a full-time job at the same time.

subway drivers must be on crack. this is the second one i was on where the heat was turned on. so gross. do they WANT people to be all irritated and confrontational? crazy i say! i’m still thirsty because of it. damn them.

hahahaha. aruny tried on these sunglasses and he looked like a pimp from the 70s. all he needed was the flashy polyester suit, platform shoes with the goldfish and he’s PIMPIN’. ahahahhaahaha.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I’M GOING TO BE VOLUNTEERING FOR THE DESIGN EXCHANGE’S DESIGN CONFERENCE! i get to meet bruce mau. and hani rashid… whom out of curiousity googled him and found out that he’s purty darned hot! half-egyptian and brit naice. let’s just say he’s aging well. but i’m excited about this conference because it sounds really interesting and fun. and hey, i’m doing something for free and i’m excited about it, so it MUST be good. dammit it’d better be!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 02:11 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20050915  

unmotherfuckinbelievable! so it took TWICE as long to get to yonge/bloor from the sang’s place because there was something wrong northbound at college station, which backed everything up. and THEN… after din-din with aruny, there were issues at vic park so i opted to go back up to york mills and take the bus from there. well the train went outta service at st clair. SUBURBIA I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! this reminds me of getting to and from dinner at kbbq after pickering festival with uc. we got kicked off the subway at woodbine, waited for shuttle buses until we realized that we could take the bus down to queen and streetcar it. and then there was a car accident in front of the stupid streetcar. so we cabbed it to the resto. (me, tsu, marn, and steph) well on my way home, the faRT was out at night for some whatless reason, so i took the 116. some stupid ass underaged bitch decided she couldn’t hold her liquor and puked on the bus… 2 stops outta kennedy station. so the bus driver decided to put the bus outta service. *sigh

on the flipside. i FINALLY got my cds i bought on-line. wheeeeeeee! gooooooo music. i got the album plus 2 mixtape albums. whatta deal! yes, some people are angry at kanye west for saying that the pres doesn’t care about black people. well, i think he was purty smart and he didn’t have to sugarcoat/bureaucratize/bullshit it. because as much as there will be much finger-pointing, mumbling, bumbling it’s the plain truth. and kanye is an amazing rapper. to segue from someone else’s glob entry, there’s a good time article on kanye on the ‘time’ on-line edition.

so i’m a skeptic. hahahaha… like you didn’t know. no no really, i’m a REALISTIC optimist! anyhow, alice walker’s ‘now is the time to open your heart’ is an amazing book. i haven’t even finished it, but i lurve it. it seemed a bit too hokey, new age-y to me, but then there was just something about her writing that got to me. and i can’t articulate it because all my creativity has been drained by bureaucratic university so excuse my shitty english. but she is an amazing author. ‘the colour purple’ that’s another classic. and the movie’s good too. i’ve seen it about 5 times and i still bawl when i watch it.

i technically have a job now! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! i’m employed. so it’s temp contract part-time. now i just need another part-time job to make up for the rest of it. fingers crossed on the other job hunt. yesh i’m being greedy looking for TWO jobs while some people don’t even have ONE, but it’s far below what my education should get me.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 05:20 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20050914       

so now my life is completely devoid of things to do. i have no work or pending school to worry about. lame. i went to go volunteer today at the ago. i miss that place. and randall is such a great person to have as a supervisor. even though i’ve been a.w.o.l. for a month he just said he’s back from vacation, his brain is mush and he can’t remember anything.

every time i tell my mother i’m going to a stupid job interview, she starts preaching to me about getting a job, asking my dad if there’s any openings at his office and same with my sister. and they keep SAYING things, but nothing comes of it. and so i just tune her out. why would i even WANT to work in the same place as my dad or my sister? i think i’d rather work at sears again. (knock on wood) and all this because she doesn’t ‘like’ where i’m applying to, or she thinks it’s a waste of time. i think the ago will see more of me over the next few weeks so i can get away from her. so i’ve stopped telling her of my whereabouts as much as possible so i don’t have to put up with the preachiness, but i couldn’t help it on monday because she came home as i was leaving.

just finished reading ‘eleanor rigby’ by douglas coupland. not a bad book. and so i’ve begun to devour books with glee once again. i think my local library is running out of books i haven’t read because i picked up another book that i borrowed before, and just like last time i couldn’t continue it. hahahaha. last time i took out 4 books (i think) and i found out i’ve already read 2 of them. go me.

so i bumped into an old friend of mine on the bus and we were talking and laughing in the back of the bus. i miss stupid jokes with ricky. the bus stopped for a while with the door open and so i asked, ‘dude, why are we stopping here?’ so ricky’s answer was that he was panicking about going over the railroad tracks up ahead. hahahahahaha. ‘ok. don’t panic. breathe. just gotta call my mentor – dude just tell me i can do it. c’mon. it’s ok. ok, i can do it.’ hahahahahahahahaha. ok, so it was probably funnier if you were there. never mind. the point is, i miss really DUMB jokes.

everyone from my old dep’t from sears is GONE except for poor marla (maples) and christina. craziness. nat-nat was moved to another dep’t. hahaha. i saw mikey downstairs and i asked him, ‘what are you still doing here?’ his answer… ‘i don’t know!’ poor lee. he had a job all lined up and then they told him they couldn’t get the paperwork done so it never happened. he had everything packed and ready. so he’s still stuck at sears.

now i’m just babbling because i have nothing new to say. because there’s nothing new in my life.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 04:06 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20050911

isn’t it great how people usurp phrases? sue was telling me on friday how annoying it was that people were calling new orleans the ‘ground zero’ of hurricane katrina. it was ‘taken’ from 9/11, an event which the media over-saturated us with so much so that i really can’t muster much thought about it. well funny thing is, it was the americans that created the ‘original’ ‘ground zeroes’ in hiroshima and nagasaki 60 years ago. strange no?

so aruny and i did something random today. we were at old navy and while we were walking towards the register there was this giant coin-operated machine selling balls for a quarter. so i said, ‘hey! it’s only a quarter, maybe we can get a glow-in-the-dark one!’ and so in went a quarter and out came a dirty fluorescent yellow ball. there were black smudges on it! and as we left the store arun was like, ‘why do we have this?’ so i suggested we take it back and ask them to put it back in the machine and they can keep the quarter. we went out to trin square and sat on the steps of the church. he was hoping the fountain would still be running, but i tink they were draining it for the w_ _ _ _ r. anyhow, there was this kid splashing around in what was left of the water. his family was sitting on the concrete bench. so i walked up to the father and told him that this was a really weird thing to ask, but would his son like the ball? so he said he would and thanked me.

am i the only one that laments the coming of film festival every year? there’s hardly anything to read in the newspaper because everyone is star gazing. who the fekk cares?! have THEY really done any good in your life? i just find that people flock to certain areas, some parts of streets are cordoned off etc etc. and don’t get me started on all those stupid film crews that were always around yew uv tee campus that made me walk extra just to get around their asses. fuckers. i’m sure i paid more to be there.

so i went to harbuck’s with sue on flyday after we saw ’40 yr old virgin’ (not a bad movie, but only worth the $4.25 at rainbow cinemas) anyhow, i can’t drink their coffee anymore. snobby? yes… hahaha.. but i still might work for them and put my conscience aside for medical benefits and such.

need a job. need to move out for sanity’s sake. want a cat. saw the cute black cat with a tiny white patch last week. i spent about 10 minutes just scratching it’s back/belly/neck. everytime i got up, the cat would start to meow, run in front of me, rub against my legs until i crouched down to pet it again. i was thinking ‘bout applying to this f/t position at a pet store, but then i realized that i’d be too annoyed at how things were run and why little puppies were allowed to eat there own shit.

anyway, something have been resolved in my life which has caused me much more grief than i previously thought. but i’m relieved that it’s over with. i won’t divulge for public consumption although i was tempted last week. 

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 03:43 | link | comments (2) |

CHANGE #20050907

rachel, i hate your mother. she’s so freakin’ loud! so i got home late monday night and thought, who cares, i can sleep in tuesday morning… 8am. cars, children, screeching, screaming… FUCK IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!! and all i hear is this mother screaming… ‘HAVE A GOOD FIRST DAY RACHEL. DON’T FORGET TO EAT EVERYTHING IN YOUR LUNCH. I’LL BE HERE AT 3:30 TO PICK YOU U~P! BYYYYYYE RACHEL!’ jeezy peezy! just LET GO of your child for heaven’s sake. i’m sure rachel is quite fine and perhaps anxious to get away from a mother like you.

 

so the ex is over. i’ve NEVER been happier. as soon as we heard the announcement that the national trade centre was closed we started screaming our heads off. clare and claire were running around because they have no more work, school and no where to live. dominic took apart the bridge. i kinda wanted to do that… we took lotsa pix. now i have to get the program from aruny to resize them. i even took a pic of my last latte. sniff sniff. i can’t drink cheap coffee anymore. well… i guess that’s good, but that also means that i won’t get as much caffeine either. *sigh. it was SO hard to work on the last day. we were TOTALLY slacking and just cracking jokes and stuff. i even closed off the entrance a little early because we didn’t want to see anymore people coming in. todd is a piano teacher with fabulous nails. he sang a few tunes he composed for me and rene when we went on break and he’s so talented. todd now has fabulous nails because he used to bite them and one time a student of his pointed out that he had the ugliest nails. oh the honestly of children. hahahahahaahhaahhaa.

it wasn’t a bad job. there were cool people to chill with, awesome coffee to be had and lotsa people to laugh at. like this one woman. she was wearing a cropped jersey and low-rise jeans. well she wasn’t the type that should be doing us all a favour by covering up, but she insisted on showing her midriff. well the uv rays were quite strong because she cam in with a pink face… and A RED BELLY!  hahahahaaha. i couldn’t stop laughing. it looked SO SO SO funny. and the rest of her was still untanned. so it was REALLY obvious. there was also a family all wearing tie-dye clothes and lotsa lotsa babies. we made it our goal after a while to prevent any babies from crying.

 

my thesis is done and it’s been sent in. we shall NEVER speak of that topic EVER again. for nevah nevah and nevah nevah! because i’m likely going to have to re-write. everything is in a box in my closet. although i’ll have to shit bricks until late november when the marks are sent out. ooooh i guess it’ll have to be december. meh, nothing i can do about it now. 

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 17:01 | link | comments |