Life needs change.

CHANGE #20060226   

just saw a commercial for fedex. SO funny! a caveman tries to send a package tied to the leg of a pterodactyl and it gets eaten by a t-rex. and so he goes back to the cave, tells the guy it couldn’t get sent, the dude says to use fedex… you just have to see it. it’s SO funny!

well, the one that i dubbed the incompetent one turned out to be the better manager because she was honest, and even though she did get carried away with some things, she was decent. and now she’s gone. and the next assistant manager is the one who’s confused about his heritage, who has the HUGEST ego because he’s a keyholder… and now his ego will be even bigger. great. and he did this dumbass evaluation thingy, and i don’t know/care about the terminology they use and he knows it. i didn’t do any formal training/orientation or any of that when i was hired and it’d be a little late for it now. anyhow, he gave me a 60% like i really give a shit… i mean if you’re evaluating me on stuff that people on the floor have to do PLUS i have to do cash stuff, pay me more. then maybe i’ll care a little bit more… well no… i wouldn’t.

well i spoke with the marketing manager and he’s waiting for the ok from one of the big cheeses, a desk for me and then i can work at head office for a few days a week. awesome! i need to get off the floor. i’m doing registration for the city next week. go call centre! i did the training this morning and it was SO boring, and i’m glad it’s only for 3 days that i’m working.

saturday morning i was the first one to walk through the snow when i cut through the park. i didn’t see my shoeprints that evening when i took the bus home, but i did see the ones i left last night when i took the bus this morning. these are the things i think about when trudging through the park, when it’s SO bloomin’ cold!

hungry.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 04:31 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20062302
go pms. go slacking. go fuck yourselves. hate the fucking olympics. it’s protocol to show it on the telly for some dumbass reason so everyone downstairs is standing there WATCHING the naffing tv! what looks worse, people walking on the street and seeing everyone on the floor watching tv or managers coming upstairs and seeing us talking without ANY customers around, the floor is clean and there’s not a whole heck of a lot to do… hmmm… such bullshit. and then they come upstairs and bitch at us for slacking. riiiiiiight-o. asswipes.

lalalalalalalala~! i got my haircut. franco is SUCH a doll. he charged me for the price that i paid around the first time he did my hair. that was at least 3 years ago. what a sweetie! and he just mentioned that when i saw him before cursemas when he came to my place of hell. he remembered that he promised me then! eeeheeheeheeheheee!

 i’m cutting out coffee for a while, i’m going to try to stop buying crappy foods unless i’m out with friends. tired, wanting to sleep, but can’t get to sleep. trying to plan things with friends, but unable to because our scheds don’t mesh.

supposedly got my foot in the door at head office, but i’m not so sure anymore. the marketing manager still hasn’t called me back and that was 2 weeks ago. i got me an internship as a fundraising and promo assistant i’m starting next week at the untitled art awards, but i don’t have any further info. why do things always stop and start like this for me? fekk!

so the bartender at mercurio is DEFINITELY cute. and well… yeah. i’m not making sense because umm… my life doesn’t make sense either. hahahaha. when Maureen was about 3, her parents took her to church and when she saw the choir up in the clsrestory area she’d always yell at them to jump… so they stopped taking her. heeheheee…

circuit training keeps changing up and i like that there’s no routine, but it also means that i have to shit bricks every tues before i go to practice. now i try to go to sleep. wow this is prolly the most fucked up entry. who gives a shit?

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 03:53 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20060215/19

so the jackass at william ashley is still looking for a gopher. well GOOD. i hope you NEVER find one, i wouldn’t even wish this job on an enemy of mine… although it’d be HILARIOUS to sic that crazy co-worker of mine on them. the one with the really annoying voice who cracks under pressure. aaaaahahahhaaha, i think that would be sweet sweet revenge.

i wish the fire chief would just fine the store. we’re NOT up to code yet, and the poor man has to come in i think every 2 weeks to check. the store manager has called him to tell him that it’s done, but when he checks it’s not. i don’t see why they have to play games like that. it’s not difficult to do, just fix it and let everyone else know what’s going on. SO stupid. IT’S THE LAW!

wayne-o burned me new fiona apple and esthero before he left. i’m LOVING them all very muches. thank you!!!!! they’re awesome!

i’m increasingly avoiding my parents at all costs. i get home a little bit later so that i don’t have to eat dinner with the family and deal with the usual interrogations about work, life and other stuff. yeah yeah, i know they’re probably just concerned, but it’s masked under so many layers of bitterness.

went to dinner with a friend of mine from queen’s. she’s such a crackhead. i told her where i worked and she went to the one at eaton centre and asked for me. anyhow, the rain was fucking crazy and i can’t believe i forgot my umbrella! i coulda sworn i dumped it in my bag that morning… but then again the morning was a headache and a half! my 8:45 bus didn’t show. the 9am bus didn’t come either. i finished shovelling the snow and ran into the house and ran back out to catch the fucking bus and it didn’t come. i declared it suspend a bus driver day. the next bus that came 5 mins later was ‘not in service’ and the jackass had the nerve to tell us he was doing us a favour by picking us up to take us to ellesmere. right, because your previous 2 co-workers are awol? uh-huh, the least that bus drivers can do is to call in to find out what happened so that people don’t take their anger out onto them. anyhow he called us all idiots. fuck you! the dinner made up for the bus driver and the rain because the ribs i ate were AWESOME! and the bartender was kinda cute, but i only noticed because i almost ran into him as i went to the washroom. teeheehee. met up with mel after all that to go home together. i miss her. L

so umm… i got my ass to work this morning only to find out that my schedule was changed YET AGAIN! but they kept me anyway cuz i looked too tired and confused to really register what was being said until later. what a boooooooring day at work. so dead, so stupid cuz we HAVE to have the olympics on the telly, however a lotta the management is juss slacking watching the tv the whole time and then hypocritically telling US to do work whilst they stand there and gawk. fuck off. so i get my revenge by selling the LEAST amount possible. hahaha, like on friday i sold something for $2.99 and the rest of the sales i did make i gave to others. i don’t care, there’s no incentive for cashiers.

there was this over-the-top chick at the gym today. lord she was gross. i mean she was FIT and all, but she was wearing TIGHT yoga pants, waistband rolled down, pink cropped tank top, pink baseball cap, dyed black hair in pigtails making all these squeaky girly noises as she worked out. a little bit of modesty goes a long way honey.

something to make you all giggle (for those who are old enough to remember that is…)

JORDACHE! yeah tony wears their boxerbriefs which i didn’t know they made, but he was fixing his tee and i saw the waistband and had a giggle fit. dude! remember jordache jeans?!?!?!? anyhow, it makes me smile for some reason. thank you tony!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 01:36 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20060208

he has a cat. and i’m so happy, but it also made me very sad. because i miss my moo so much. i don’t think i’ll ever get over the loss of him. we’ve had him for so long! anyhow, i was taking off my boots and this kitten comes running down the stairs and my face lit up like (no not a bloody cursemas tree!~) anyhow i was GRINNING ear to ear. and i sorta shrieked ‘YOU HAVE A CAT!!!!! HA! I TOLD YOU SO! SEE, YOU WANTED ONEEEE DON’T LIEEEEEEEE~!’ and then i proceeded to semi-ignore him while i played with the cat. her name’s from the neverending story or something like that… and i can’t remember, i want to say eritrea but i know that’s the name of a place in africa. hahahaha… i’m such a loser! anyhow, she’s 6 months old, a cute lil calico and i love her to bits! she’s SO SO SO SO SO cute and she broke my heart and i kept getting distracted by her. i think he might’ve been a little annoyed… dut dut dut. he has a glass coffee table and you could see a few paw prints and nose prints on it. SO CUTE! and so i went home and i was a little depressed because i really want a cat, and it seems that my mother’s holding out on the only thing that made me really happy in this house. so katykins and i have decided we’re getting a cat when we move in together in september.

i’ve figured something out about being a woman. it’s almost like a ‘rite of ‘passage’ for a girl to have to preen in front of a mirror whence we get to a certain age. and i don’t understand why. it’s not like i’m totally confident in my looks, but i just can’t be bothered. when i go out and i go to the washroom, i’m going because i have to pee. not because i want to fix my hair/makeup etc. i can’t be bothered. i mean i care enough to look groomed, but is it all that bad? so what if i know nothing about makeup etc or that i can leave the house without perfect eyebrows. i dunno, it just seems really strange to have to care so much.

i didn’t get home too late Monday night, and rather than coming into the house i just hung my bag on the mailbox and shovelled the snow. my dad comes out later to take out the trash and we finish up. i get inside and my mother makes this snide, ‘you’re home late,’ comment. whatever, i just spent the past 30-40 minutes shovelling YOUR fucking driveway so don’t give me that shit. i don’t even fucking drive! your OTHER daughter dearest could have easily done the same thing! blah blah blah… and for the rest of the week she’s been quite mouthy.

is it so wrong? one of the bigger reasons why i don’t care to get my license is that it’s bad for the environment. i mean when you practice you’re most likely just driving around, not necessarily running errands or whatever. know what i mean? and well, i don’t care to get a car anytime soon. gerblah! i just don’t care. so sue me.

at work, EVERY t-shirt comes in its own plastic bag with a piece of tissue paper folded inside. why? who needs all that shit? so if i had things my way, i’d save each bag and piece of tissue paper and give it per item that the custy purchases. so if they buy 3 t-shirts, the get 3 plastic bags and pieces of tissue paper. why? well none of the managers really seem to care and because the owner can’t give 2 shits either. either that or send all the plastic bags to the owners. see how YOU like dem apples!

ummm… i’m stuck. i’ve had all opening shifts this week and well it sucks ass. i don’t mind having variety in my schedule, i really don’t. so umm… i’m in contact with the same temp agency as sue and i’ve set up a meeting on monday however… i REALLY don’t think i can do the 9-5 thing. i know it would be economically smart simply because i’m getting paid pennies right now, but for my sanity’s sake.. i really might hate this. i won’t be able to sleep in because the retail job will become my secondary income at least until i have enough money which means i’ll NEVER get to ‘sleep in’ which is ironic because i can only sleep in until around 9, anytime after that and then my mother starts guilting me, the phone rings or she’ll start the laundry or something equally as absurd.

i’m kinda grumpy and feeling a little ‘off’ these days. GERBLAH!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 01:32 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20060204

BOYCOTT WILLIAM ASHLEY BECAUSE THE STORE MANAGER IS AN ARSE!!!!! ok i had a job interview at NOON on Thursday for a junior admin assistant position. what time did he interview me? TWO O’ CLOCK!!!!! i told his assistant that i had to get home to change and come back downtown for work at 5. he kept me waiting. he kept saying 10 minutes and his assistant kept apologizing on his behalf. well i said i’d resched and that i had to leave, but he insisted. i put my coat on, zipped it up, and sat there looking for his assistant after a while because i was going to leave. and i really wouldn’t have cared if my application was tossed out or not. i was THAT angry. and he KNEW it because he came out of his office… which was right behind the desk i was sitting at, and said he would interview me now. and i didn’t say anything and just shook his hand. jackass just gave me a flippant ‘sorry’ at the end of the interview which was interrupted by EVERYONE and their mother. i don’t care if you’re the queen. if you say NOON you MEAN noon, not 12:30 or 1 let alone TWO. i don’t care that i’m the one wanting the job, i don’t want to work for someone that doesn’t treat potential people with respect. that tells me that you’re selfish and that you’ll keep everyone waiting until YOU are free/ready regardless of everyone else’s circumstances. that and they’re SO draconian. women can ONLY wear a skirt or a dress. are we in the 1900s or something. what would happen if they saw a little bit of ankle? holy crap! the pay’s pretty bad for what i’d be doing anyway. yeah i know i have to start somewhere, but that’s not a good start. that and i don’t have enough skirts or dresses and i’m not about to buy more. THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS WILLIAM ASHLEY SUCKS ASS.

friday was a purty cool day. i had to work until 5:30 though and the only reason why i found out was because i called downstairs and ‘surprise!’ fuckers! anyhow, katykins and i went to hero certified burger. dude, it’s worth the hype. their fries are good and it’s cheaper than licks. then we went to the awesome café at the bottom of the new res at st george and bloor. the bartender there is pretty cute too! then we went to free times café to see our co-worker joel perform. the little backroom smells like… gym socks. anyhow, he’s an AWESOME singer/songwriter. and i normally hate folk-ish music, but he’s SO good. he’s like a young bob dylan. we sat at this table with 2 40something women and they were both too cute and fun. but really, me and katy were amazed. and he has such stage presence and he plays the guitar AND the harmonica. his gf is the cutest girl in the world. you can only describe her as a pixie. anyhow, it was GOOD GOOD fun. and katykins is such a fun person to chill with. i might move into her place in may since the rent is purty good and it seems that people are moving out for the summer. i had the FUNNIEST bus driver on the way home too. he stopped at the stop by fenside by the parking lot to let people off. there was a fight going on, so he stayed there for a bit, kept the door open and gave all of us on the bus a running commentary of the fight. ‘oh damn he just got smacked with a crowbar!’ etc etc. people were coming outta the pizza pizza yelling and screaming and then one of the guys came running up to the bus. the bus driver closed the door and gunned it. ‘dude. you FINISH your fight! don’t come running up to the bus like a little girl.’ AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 01:39 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20060201

I’M SO ANGRY AND IRRITATED RIGHT NOW, IF I HEAR ANOTHER SNIDE COMMENT FROM MY SISTER I’M GOING TO BREAK HER STUPID PLAYSTATIONS!!!!!

ok. so i get into work today and all i hear is this constant stream of BULLSHIT coming from the mouth of the new co-store manager. apparently head office told them to cut hours. so some people were told the day of that their shifts were cut for the rest of the week let alone the day. which isn’t NEW since they’ve been doing that since the cursemas season. but blah blah blah. bullshit bullshit, if his nose could get longer he’d have to have it surgically removed. joel’s ONLY shift for the week (today) because the rest were cancelled was even shortened by 3 hours. i know i shouldn’t really complain since i still have 4 full shifts and a bullshit 4 hour one, but still. i was told i’d be given full-time hours. and a lot of people probably thought they were ‘safe’ since drastic cuts are usually made right in the beginning of january not in february. that’s of course set the tone for the rest of the shitty day. so i spent the morning setting up a job interview elsewhere. hahahaha. fuckers. i don’t care anymore. the place is a fucking revolving door! fucking tim horton’s pays more than this shit job. CANADIAN company my ass… asswipes. on top of that they keep interviewing people. HELLO THERE ARE PEOPLE CURRENTLY WORKING THERE THAT NEED THE HOURS AND MONEY!!!!! and they just hired a new girl today. fuck you fuck you fuck you. that and i have a whatless 4 hour shift tomorrow and i’m on the fucking FLOOR!!!!! i hate working on the floor!!!!! does anybody know if it’s illegal for them to change shifts without telling people? i’ve been looking on the internet, but i don’t quite know where to look. eh? why is this paragraph different?!?!?!

so my sister was washing the dishes from dinner and i got home late so i ate whilst she washed and i finished one thing (because you know how japanese meals are small portions of a million different things) and when i’m tired i don’t’ want to spend time carefully eating each thing, i’m just going to wolf it down. so i dropped it in the sink and she says, ‘what? you have washing dishes that much?’ implying that i NEVER do it, that i NEVER do anything around this fucking house. i hate how my family assumes so much shit about me, but i no longer have the energy to fight for myself or to correct them. i don’t fucking care. so i KNOW i have to move out by the end of this year.

i’ve realized that i’m unhappy with my situation else i wouldn’t go apeshit re-arranged my room like a madwoman on a freakin’ sunday night. i know i’m restless and i need change, but now i don’t know what i want. i know i want to move out and get a better job, but there’s still something else missing and i don’t know what it is. lalalalalallalalaala~.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 02:27 | link | comments |