Life needs change.

CHANGE #20060922  

Getting closer

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 11:45 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20060921
Reading the newspaper on-line today and I happened upon this:
http://environment.guardian.co.uk/climatechange/story/0,,1877421,00.html

The state of Cali is suing 6 major car manufacturers for global warming. WTF?! Isn't that a little bit ass backward? Like women suing a shoe manufacturer for making stilettos that gave them bunions knowing full well that their foot problems are a result of their shoes? If you know that cars cause pollution, then why keep buying them? DUH! Use a different mode of transportation, carpool, walk, PUBLIC TRANSIT hello? It seems a little ridiculous for them to file this lawsuit, and all these environmental groups are saying it's a 'landmark,' but it seems a little uhh... far-fetched.

I'm not so pessimistic today. I hate that I have all these mood swings... but not. At least I don't stay mopey ALL the time, else I'd have done something drastic by now. Maybe it's because the moving out part has occupied much of my time.

Stupid job just got STUPIDER! I don't understand; I didn't think it could get worse, but it did yesterday. There's a daily leather bag inventory count. Guess who's the closing bitch? WHY can't the floor people be more accountable for their actions and be the ones who have to stay behind becauase the numbers don't add up. Why is it MY problem, I only deal with cash and all the things that pertain to that... not inventory. It's bad enough that we have to stay behind all the time while the rest get to leave with the plebs when the store closes. Not only that, but there's a 'uniform' checklist where the mngr writes what the person's wearing and whether there's merch in our bags or not. Damned if they yell at me for rockin' the same shirt day in and day out. Do I look like I care? If you say one shirt, then I'm juss wearing ONE damned shirt the WHOLE time. I'll just wear leggings under my cargos. It's SO hostile to people who are coming in for a whatless 4 hour closing shift and... the closing manager has to waste time again at the end of the night to make sure that people are leaving wearing what they wore in and have them sign that lil sheet. Uh-huh... whatever.

I was all excited because I was going to make curry tomorrow. I thought my mother gave me curry powder... instead she just gave me INSTANT SHIT THAT YOU PUT ON RICE!!!!! Fekk... and I bought all the ingredients too... so I have to waste time going BACK to the store to buy the stuff because I want CURRY!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 23:39 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20060919

For the first time in my life as I was walking to work I regretted going further in school to get the extra 2 letters after my name. For the first time in my life, if I was given a chance to go back and take a different course in life knowing what I know now, I would take it in a heartbeat. I'm hoping this feeling will go away soon because I'm content with the job I have now because who wouldn't want free chiro adjustments, 2 hour lunches on Tues and Thurs, Mon mornings off, Fri afternoons off. I get natural sunlight, it's pretty laidback here, I can go for coffee runs, I'm generally left alone here because she trusts me, she understands my plight and best of all I GET TREATED WELL. This is sadly one of the first jobs I've EVER had where I was treated with basic respect and trust that I NEVER got from any other job I've ever worked at for longer than a month. On the flipside, I don't get benefits, I don't really work a full work week and obviously this is SO far from my actual field of study. I've often thought about all the hours that I've put in this summer just working and realized that if this was a 'real' job I was working at, that I could be living mortgage free in a condo right now. Of course, I could never really push papers no matter how much the job paid... well not for long anyway because I HATE FLOURESCENT LIGHTING and all the things that standard office work stands for. It's depressing, mentally/emotionally/physically draining and waaaaaaaaaay to stifling for a crazy girl like me.

I hate regret. I'd rather take it as something to learn by, not something to dwell upon. And my attitude has always been to always live life never having regretted anything, but learned a lot. Well dammit this is a hard lesson I'm learning and it doesn't seem to be letting up any time soon. I'm so frustrated and technically if i were to find something before I left for the UK, then maybe I never would've left. So really, I've been looking for something meaningful as a ways of employment for the past 2 years. WTF?!

However, I went for the most relaxing lunch I've had in a LONG while... not since my napping on the massage table lunches. I went down to Solferino, got myself a latte and just sat in the park and read my book. Sun was shining, grass was clean, coffee was oh-so-good...

I need to sit down and work out a budget and see how much, if any I can save up for next year. I know I won't be staying in that house for any longer than a year because I feel moldy already. I might have to steal my parents dehumidifier from the basement. UGH! That means I'll have to get used to the sound of it. But yeah, I know I can't go back home unless they move somewhere that's uhh.. geographically convenient for me. There's an organic coffeehouse just around the corner from me and I think I might just drop by tonight. I have the morning off tomorrow and all I need to do is groceries. UGH! Not like I'll be sleeping well anyway... FRACKSA!

I'll have you all know that I am no longer a cactus during the day. I have forced myself to increase my fluid intake tenfold since the Worlds because well... I guess it's better than never. At the same token, it's a bitch having a bladder like a thimble.

HA! Who am I kidding, I can't afford to go to a cafe today! By the way Sue... I  STILL don't think space exploration is all that important. Sorry to all those kids who want to be astronauts when they grow up.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 00:20 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20060914-8

I'm VERY hungry right now. I already ate brecky, and my granola bar, and it's only 9:30am. Sheeeeeeeeeeeit! I'm fucked. Me wanna second breakfast. I've discovered something kind of exciting. I only have to do laundry every other week. The machines are SO large at the laundromat that the amount I took yesterday was only a half load. Since it's $3.50 per load and then a quarter per 6 mins in the dryer... every other week sounds like a viable option. Since last year I've been collecting loonies, quarters and toonies... but lo and behold the machines don't take toonies, so now I technically have a financial windfall.

Had to close with a rookie yet AGAIN Wed night, and I couldn't even get her to do much cuz she didn't even know what I was talking about. OF COURSE I'm going to bitch you out you retard manager... YOU shoulda figured it out yourself too, fucktard. I don't care if you're sick and if I have to close with you again tonight... be careful. Fekk all I get is closing shifts. WTF?! Is this what I get for taking Saturdays off? Fekk!

I was on-line with my friend and she's dealing with systemic racism because she's Muslim. She still has a job, but faces discrimination there, and she's been called back for interviews at other workplaces, but after the whole UK airport incident, they tell her not to bother. I'm disgusted at the ignorance of people, and if I had a job to give to her, it'd be hers in a heartbeat. And they wonder why the 'visible minorities' here know that it's not the land of milk and honey that everyone says it is. Yes, there are things that shouldn't be taken for granted here, but at the same time, if you can't even get ahead in life... you're kinda stuck in limbo.

Although I'll never condone going on a rampage, or retaliating against people to the point of murder, I can sorta see why certain religious/ethnic groups are so bitter and angry. Obviously there are better ways to deal with it.. like not making it worse for others in the same group by taking extreme measures. Yes, businesses have to make money and other ignorant fools will choose not to be patrons of a certain place because they might have an employee of a certain group, but what's worse de-humanizing the place or catering to the whims of idiots? I remember with the whole SARS bullshit people would be scared of the Ladies' Denim department because the majority of us were Asian at the time. Well, fuck you. if I wanted a seat on the subway you're damned right I'd take advantage of your stupidity to get me a seat or 5 by giving a little cough. 2 can play at that game.

It's Monday now. Oops. I'm typing this as I shred paper. So far Marie Antoinette hasn't overheated on me like Friday. Yes, I named the paper shredder. Bite me. Her name is appropriately so because the name brand is Royal, the guillotine was most widely used during the French Revolution, Marie took a lotta crap and her end was much like the paper that I have to get rid of once the bin is full. The printer's name is Hank Harlan Peters.

Yes, yes I know, it's already been a few weeks since I've moved in. Well I HAVE NO FURNITURE! So unless you want to sit on the floor or something, you're not coming over. I've only made the exception for Alan of course. Metinks I'm going to get me a bean bag chair though. There's a store beside the clinic and I went go to talk to the owner and he said he'd be able to hook me up a sweet deal. Naaaaaaaice! Sadly, I can't wait until summer cuz we have a balcony! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! But whatev, it's getting colder and my sister needs to hustle to get me my duvet.

Can somebody please explain to me why space exploration is necessary? Why do we waste millions of dollars sending people to space when we can't educate or feed everyone in the country? No the 2 issues aren't comparable, but we live on the Earth, not the moon or any other planet. Looking for a backup because we're going to destroy this one?

TOMORROW IS INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! www.talklikeapirate.com

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 00:25 | link | comments (1) |

CHANGE #20060911

 

I have a periwinkle blue room yes I do. It’s small, but it’ll do. I’ve decided that since my mother REALLY doesn’t like the fact that I moved out here… then it’s only right that they help me get a condo next year. Ha ha ha. Well, what’s wrong with this place you ask? Hey why'd the font change on me like this?! WTF?!

IT’S SO FREAKIN’ DIRTY!!!!! It’s actually worse than when I moved into res in the UK. The walls are gross, the floor is still gross and I really want to be able to walk around barefoot. Not going to happen anytime soon. My parents wouldn’t let me take any furniture with me from home… except a shelf extension thingy. So lame. I now have a ghetto ‘dresser’. I turned one of the boxes sideways, put my bottoms in it and then stacked a big plastic bin with a lid on top of it. My mother wouldn’t even let me take a comforter with me. So my room is COLD. FRACKSA! I’m going out to Ikea sometime this week to get me a duvet. If I’m this cold right now, then I’m going to DIE in the winter. I found some random cans of paint in my closet and Shane re-painted the kitchen because it’s so dirty. The former tenants were messy people… who left a lot of curry stains all over the kitchen. One of the cupboards smells like it because they actually spilled powder in it. We found a machete in the drawer of the oven. I don’t get it. But now I have a REAL knife and a cookbook that has recipes that only require 3 ingredients! How awesome is that?!

Ok. So it’s not as bad as it was/could be. It could be worse. I was MUCHO productive on Friday and I cleaned so now we can walk around barefoot and my room has been vacuumed too! It’s exciting. Been seriously looking into learning capoeira and well the studio is SO close to my house. Of course it all depends on price. GERBLAH! I hate not having money. Anyhoo, Katykins and I FINALLY had time to sit and chill Sat night because I got home at a decent time because I wasn’t work. DON’T ASK HOW THE WEEKEND WENT!

Yeah. So Uhh… yeah. I’m not quite ready to have too many people over because we only have 2 chairs and the ‘living room’ is still a ‘spare’ room with stuff in it. But don’t worry. In due time!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 00:04 | link | comments |

CHANGE #20060831
Well change there will be. I'm moving out Saturday morning to the west end.
No more:
 95/116a bus issues, or waiting for buses that don't come, walking home for 20 minutes from the 38 bus stop, sleeping on the bus/subway knowing that i CANNOT possibly miss my stop because I'm at the end of the line, dealing with White Psycho Freak, coming home like an abusive 50s husband from a long days work, having to leave early so that I can catch the bus at a decent time and not have to worry about missing my bus, not going out at all because of the thought of taking ttc ALL the way home, fucking up my neck/shoulders from all that sleeping on the ttc, dreaming on the ttc, eating lunch/dinner on the ttc cuz I don't have time, missing meals because there's no time, seeing REGULARS on the ttc, bribing people to drive me home, listening to my mother complaining that I come home too late or leave too early oh the endless possibilities... I'll stop.

observations on the ttc... women with bunions shouldn't be allowed to wear sandals.

i'm SICK of mailing shit. The new chiro has had to write a good PR letter since the old one didn't handle her move well and told people too late. But, the new chiro has had to pay for postage for the old mailer that went out telling patients about the move. Many were returned because the patient addresses haven't been updated.. also... how can someone in Aurora have an 'M' postal code and someone in Toronto have an 'L' postal code? FRACKSA! If you're HAND WRITING the naffing addresses shouldn't you NOTICE these things?! Fucktards!

Yes, Alan has noticed that I tend to drop as he says, the 'F' bombs and the 'C' bombs when I'm a lil miffed. Ermmm... sorry dude. Din't say I was flawless.

I'm getting close to burning out again. Har har har. Oh the irony. It seems that my body is breaking down yet again. But nobody else needs to know that... because then the topic of my having to give up dragon boat will arise and it'll be too devastating for me. Anyhow, summer always seems to be so busy because of dragon boating and don't get me wrong, I LOVE IT, but well not when my body doesn't. Buzz buzz buzz... dumbass mosquito! There was one in my shirt when I was changing after practice on Tuesday, I heard it buzzing around when I put my T on and yeah... so now my left ear is itchy... and my left tricep is considerably larger as well. Bites only seem to bother me in the fall. Hmm... maybe because it's fall and my body starts to shut down because fall means WINTER and winter means a little part of me DIES.

I wanna get one of those chin up bars in my new place so I can at least say that I do those and my crunches every day. I'm really excited about moving out and I've been purging a lot of shit that I've accumulated over the years. I figured if I haven't thought of it until now, then it can't be all that important. The recycling bin is quite full and well... I'm not taking my dresser so I'm displacing a lot of stuff from my desk (which I'm taking) to my dresser drawers. Heh heh heh. I think one day I'm going to have to go back and clean out what I've 'cleaned out' from my old room so there's less to put into storage and stuff. I guess I'm not quite as much of a sentimentalist as I thought. More than anything though, it's exhausting to go through all that stuff. Old letters, cards, pictures, letters, letters, letters, unless someone's written something meaningful in a card, then it goes or unless it's from someone important. Like MJS, (bless your soul, I miss you.) It's strange seeing some of the stuff that people wrote... and I guess some things never change. I was always a goof even in high school. So I hope I never lose my sense of humour... maybe it gets a lil bit more twisted the older I get, but I can deal with that.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 03:07 | link | comments |