Life needs change.

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20041116 

  

the electric stove is EVIL!!!!! it’s out to get me! i’ve NEVER been able to fry a freakin’ egg nicely as i would at home with the GAS stove. the yolk always breaks, or half of it gets cooked really well and the other half not so well. plus it’s hard to control the temperature, it gets too hot so you turn it down, then it gets too cold. i don’t have all the time in the world to play with the stupid stove. then again, if it was gas, we’d all be dead by now cuz slob likes to leave the stove on, and leave a mess on the burners… so it’s either death by carbon monoxide poisoning or grease fire. exciting…

 

so i found out 2 things about slob. very different things. one is REALLY scary, the other… i’m trying to decide if i should be thrilled or not. ok. so first, the scary thing - he doesn’t wash his hands after using the washroom. how do i know this? we have 2 bathrooms and they’re beside/against each other. i was getting ready to take a shower and he went into to other one to do his biz… and i heard to turlet flush, but no running water afterwards. GAG!

 

ok, news #2. HE’S MOVING OUT!!!!! we’re not bound by the tenancy agreement until December 10^th. he’s already spoken to the housing office and it’s more-or-less official. he can’t afford it. well, neither can i really, but since they’re taking the £ out of his account in 8 installments, he can’t guarantee that he’ll have enough. so he goes. if i were able to find a cheaper place within a block, with internet access, washer/dryer, i’d be OUT FAST! but in a way, this is a lot easier. i’ll prolly end up staying here unless i find me a wicked deal elsewhere. i’m not going to get all happy cuz knowing my luck, someone worse than slob will move in. there’s a 38 year old, NEVER cooked, cleaned done ANYTHING for himself. a friend of a friend lives with him and he spent TWO HOURS with him in the grocery store because he’s NEVER been to one. he has to teach him EVERYTHING. dude has SO much patience. gotta give ‘im props for that. it’s pretty stupid of the helpless guy though. i mean you know it’s self-catered, you know you have to do things on your own… why would you even THINK to come here on your own if you’ve never done things for yourself? didja think someone would just be your maid? and what’s worse is that this dude is SO cheap, he says thank you, but he doesn’t really mean it and he doesn’t mind mooching. oh, and there’s another dude who can’t cook… i mean worse than me. so this one girl moved in later than others and she arrived at night. so it was too late for her to go grocery shopping and so her flatmate told her she could take what she needed… so she did. and then he asked her to cook for him cuz he didn’t know how. it was just eggs and toast. i don’t get it. my dishpan hands are experiencing some joy at slob’s leaving nonetheless. arun, do you need me to exfoliate your back? hahahaha. glysomed here i come!

 

i think i was FINALLY able to get a solid night’s sleep last night. that, or i don’t remember waking up in the middle of the night because it’s such a regular occurrence. this is the FIRST time since i moved out here. i hate being a light sleeper. eeeeeeeeheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeee! maybe sleep will start to be my friend again. why did you abandon me? i’ve done nothing wrong have i? i’d appreciate you more if you were there for me, it’s a reciprocal relationship know what i mean, a lil give and take.. you’ve been taking from me for a long time, c’maaaaaaaaaan you can give a little…

 

the latest national geographic has the catchiest title, “was darwin wrong?” all them folk along the bible belt were probably thinking, “hallelujah the bible was RIGHT!” until they open it to the article and there’s a giant NO! i had a good laugh imagining that. i can see my high school bio teacher smirking about that too. hey, are national geographics the same internationally? or do they have different editions per country like vogue, cosmo, elle etc etc.

 

one of my packages of pasta has the tape easy open tabs. well, it was apparently too easy to open cuz some of it spilled in my cupboard. can we all have a moment of silence for my pasta? it was tricoloured fusilli, sniff sniff. i had to throw it out cuz it got stuck in the grungy edges of the cupboard. ew!

 

the lights were out around the train station. i wonder how long it’ll take to get that fixed. do they have to wait until something happens to someone in the dark underpass before they fix it? will they be passive and wait like my crosswalk theory where they don’t install a crosswalk on a busy street until someone gets hit?

 

in my 20s and i’m finally super close to being able to do the splits. go fig.

 

agent orange

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 20:38 | link | comments |