Life needs change.

CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050313
since the people were SO brilliant in leaving our shower in the hall outside our flat, drunken people last night decided to rip the cover off it. if it gets broken before it’s installed, or if it’s not installed on Monday, then i’m going to have to duke it out with the bitch-ass housing manager who does nothing, but sit on her ass all day… JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT ‘WORK’IN THE UK.

yes. can you all tell i’m really sick of this godforsaken country? fingers crossed, but i’m entertaining the idea of coming back early, like in july. my tenancy agreement is technically until September 3rd, but if i can find anther student to take my place, then i don’t see why it’d be a problem. it has to be a full-time student because we don’t have to pay council tax, whatever the hell that is. and so if a non-student moves in here, then i think jamie was saying that everyone else has to pay too.

i knew from the beginning that i wouldn’t have enough money to pay all this shit off. so i was hoping to find a job. well it’s kinda late, and the only reason why i’d stay is to travel. well you can’t travel without money, and you also need time. and if i have to spend my time working and working on my thesis, then there’s no point. i’m just going to be miserable. i’m sick of it here. i think i might be able to put up with some of this shit if i didn’t have to deal with the racism and the lack of sleep… and the fact that the ONE bathroom that we have to use is like a public washroom now. it STINKS! i’m scared to sit on the seat. how fucking disgusting is that!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!? i think we win this time stephie. ew, i wish we didn’t.

if i go home i can be more productive with my research, i have a ‘better’ chance of finding a job since i have a SIN card, i can sleep better, i can see all of you. it’s easy being chipper and happy when you’re with people, but it’s not like i’m SUPER close to anyone here. you need at least one person to ground you and since i’m lacking that, i’m EXTREMELY MOODY. i’m sick of being bitchy, and i still get happy over little things, but when bigger bullshitty things happen, they tend to erase all the good. i don’t regret coming here, i told myself a LONG time ago that it’d be better to learn from my mistakes then to regret not having done something. i met a lot of cool people, i’ve learned how to cook, i’ve learned to grit my teeth and tolerate a lot of shit.

another reason why i want to come back is because of my cat. i’ve had him since i was about 7 years old. so i know that his end is inevitable, but still. he’s not eating properly, he’s lost A LOT of weight and he’s very lethargic. they had to take him to the vet last monday and he stayed overnight. his potassium is low, and they gave him pills, but we all know that cats are talented at spitting things out they don’t like. so if he didn’t improve by friday, then he’d have to be put on an iv. i feel like it’s my fault because he’s missing me because i was the one who gave him the most attention. he knows when i’m unhappy about something or even when i was leaving and i was sniffling in his face, he got up and licked my face like everything was going to be ok. i had a dream last night that he was sleeping next to me, taking up the middle of the bed as he always did, until i woke up and realized that it was only a dream. my parents think he’s going to die of old age very soon. my sister tells me these things and then tells me not to panic, but it’s kind of hard not to, when i might not see him ever again. i’m scared to call home now, because i don’t want to find out. what am i going to do without my own asshole detector? my little space heater/heat leecher? the one that you NEVER have to say anything to, but just KNOWS when you’re sad about something. my crazy cat, who’s howling freaked people out and makes people think i have a lil baby in the house. my cat that would hiss, puff up his fur and howl at other cats… behind a glass door, but as soon as it was open he’d be GONE. my cat who sometimes wasn’t so cat-like and would trip over his feet or fall off things and blame it on someone else. my cat who’d make a mess, but we’d both conspire and not tell moms, hahaha i’d just clean it up and not say a word. my cat that hid behind the freezer when our house was robbed in the first year we moved in, and we all thought he ran away. my cat who’s famous howls i had in the background of my celly message… hahahaha and the apprehensive messages that my managers at work would leave me. my cat that hates fish… not so much now and is lactose intolerant. when he was younger he’d break all the cat toys that were supposed to be indestructible. hahaha, my cat that would fall asleep and then fall off the bed/drawers/cushion he was sleeping on. my cat with the world’s WORST cat breath, and when he’d yawn i’d blow into his mouth to make him close it. like cat like owner? you’d better believe it. no i don’t have halitosis! but he’s VERY small for his age, but seems bigger than he really is. we both make up for our lack of size with noise. how do you say good-bye to someone you’ve loved for 18 years?

agent orange

ok. so it’s CONFIRMED i really HATE THIS MOTHERFUCKIN’ COUNTRY!!!!! some jackass threw a half eaten orange and apple at me and my friend as we were walking back from a movie. regardless of whether it was racially motivated or not, that’s BULLSHIT!!!!! the only thing i’ve had to worry about is canadian goose shit back home. yes, it can happen anywhere, but added to all the other shit that i’ve had to put up with, this is getting to the last straw.

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 14:05 | link | comments |