CONSPIRACY THEORY #20050418

ok. so you know what REALLY pisses me off? racist asswipes. i’m on my way to the train station so i can hand in my term papers at school. i pass by this place where they’re doing construction and there’s scaffolding. lo and behold there’s actually people doing work there today! (normally around here, there’s scaffolding and no work being done) anyhow, i hear this mean, mocking voice yelling down at me. it’s sorta cackly, almost like how you’d imagine a witch’s voice. it’s saying

“kanichiwa! kanichwa!”

wtf?! o, he’s supposed to be saying,  “konnichiwa.” right. so i ignore him and keep going. on my way home he starts to cackle something else… this time supposively in Chinese. right. i TOTALLY wanted to turn around, smack him and kick the shit outta him for his sheer ignorance and white-trash attitude, but i kept walking and got angrier by the second. his co-workers were there and regardless, i’d get my ass whupped cuz it’s the white man’s word over mine. any day… especially in this city.

i HATE how people try to convince me that there’s racism in Toronto. well DUH of course it’s EVERYWHERE. but the worst i’ve had to deal with as of late is all those stupid boys who have an asian fetish! mina’s boy toy is white. he was ‘interrogating’ me as to why i was leaving and i said cuz i hate it here. i’ve had bad experiences and i’m not going to stick around for them to get worse. he at first tried to blame it on the people who live in moulsecoomb, which is a council estate where the government has a housing project. they apparently have a beef with brighton because it’s a ‘rich’ city. fine, but i wasn’t in moulescoomb i was here. asswipe. and then he said, ‘where did you grow up?’ and i told him Toronto to which he replied, ‘well there must be racism in Toronto as well.’ no fucking guff. but i’ve never had food thrown at me, been spit on or hear people talk about me behind my back when i go grocery shopping. and i was SO tempted to tell him, ‘yeah, there is racism. especially the kind where people like you have an asian fetish. cuz i can see RIGHT THROUGH YOU!’ but mina was there. so i just continued to cut my vegetables, but much louder. he also doesn’t see that the uk suffers from a SEVERE superiority complex. they are NOT the centre of the world.

DON’T you DARE dismiss what happened to me. don’t you DARE tell me that it doesn’t happen here because it does. and the reason why you’d NEVER understand in a million years is because you’ll NEVER have to worry about it. what’s the worst someone can call a white person? white trash, wigger? i couldn’t even think of any sort of comeback for the ignorant construction worker because there’s no equivalent! we speak the same fucking language. ENGLISH!

it’s really cool when things you’ve learned in school finally make sense to you in the real world and you have that eureka moment where it falls into place. it really sucks when it’s something negative that’s happened to you and you realize what the scholars were talking about. it’s the whole thing about critiquing something using the same words/language of the people that you are critiquing. ie: postcolonialism. if you’re someone writing on PC and you’re from a former colony, your frame of reference is always the colonizer. ditto for feminism.

so now i’m sitting on the windowsill of my ‘room’with my sports bra on because the sun feels so naice on my back. i don’t want to be outside anymore because i might get taunted again. i’m sick of the superiority complex that the british have and i can’t wait to get back.

agent orange