Life needs change.

CHANGE #20050920    

ok. so i turned down the job at jane/finch. because it’s 9-1 or 1-5. the hours are crazy stupid and it’d take me the same time travelling there as it would working. if i were to find me another part-time job, i’d have a bitch of a time getting from there to the other place. if it was full-time i’d have taken it in a heartbeat. plus, it’s a contract. if i were to take it, i’d be obligated to stay until the project they’re working on is done. i don’t know if i want to lock myself into that position if there’s a carrot dangling in front of me.

yes it seems presumptuous of me to do so considering i don’t have any other job offers, but at the same time, i can see the commute killing me. especially since the ttc has been less than reliable and i don’t want to spend every day worrying if i get there on time. but but but, aaaaaaaaaugh! I HATE HOW INDECISIVE I’VE BECOME!!!!!

that david banner song ‘play’ is REALLY creepy. and the video is even creepier. it’s all these girls ‘working out’ except that he’s just sitting there reading a newspaper watching them. as they ‘sweat’ and stick their asses out in that bullshit step machine ass-shaking way. ok so the lyrics have been cleaned up for radio, but still… and then there dear mariah carey. ok. so vocally that woman can still sing, but her crazy make-up, shoes and attire are just too much now. she’s too much. hahaha go me. i’m dissecting music videos. how pathetic!

oh but don’t get me started on dear gwen stefani. i’ve lost A LOT of respect for her. i was flipping through the channels and there was a much music spotlight on her. well she was doing an interview with her four ‘muses’ and they were just SITTING there. and so jen hollett asked her if they ever spoke and she said no, they’re just there and they’re totally inspirational. go china dolls! i hope that they all got green cards so that they can just drop gwen and exploit their ability to work in the states… although i don’t know if i’d really want to either. especially after having been treated like chattel.

yay. i got my cheques from the ex. hahahaha, that makes it sound like i was married, got a divorce and we didn’t sign a pre-nup. funny how the idea of a pre-nup is SUCH a western concept. i was joking with tomoko from japan and i had to explain what a pre-nup was. anyhow, i got my final cheques from my stint at the cne. woohoo!

went to the library again on monday. nothing wrong with lotsa reading right? i mean i have all the time in the world. ‘the mysterious flame of queen loana’ by umberto eco. wow. a fabulous book about a man who lost his memory/memories. so he remembers facts and literary quotes because he read a lot as a child and because he works in selling antique books, but he can’t recognize his family or friends. so he returns to his childhood home to ‘find’ his memories, by going through what he read/wrote as a child. it must really resonate with an italian person who lived in the same time period of the character because he reminisces about ww2, the music, the comics and facism. anyhow, despite the obvious generational and cultural gap, it’s still an awesome book.

so now i’m so pathetic that i’m applying to freakin’ retail jobs! yes, i’m excited about the possibility of working in this boutique that i’ve always liked. it’s ok, it’s got bay street hours and wicked merchandise. I NEED A JOB AND IT’S TOTALLY STRESSING ME OUT BECAUSE IT’S SLOWLY FUCKING UP MY EATING HABITS AND SUCH!!!!!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 01:24 | link | comments |