Life needs change.

CHANGE #20060208

he has a cat. and i’m so happy, but it also made me very sad. because i miss my moo so much. i don’t think i’ll ever get over the loss of him. we’ve had him for so long! anyhow, i was taking off my boots and this kitten comes running down the stairs and my face lit up like (no not a bloody cursemas tree!~) anyhow i was GRINNING ear to ear. and i sorta shrieked ‘YOU HAVE A CAT!!!!! HA! I TOLD YOU SO! SEE, YOU WANTED ONEEEE DON’T LIEEEEEEEE~!’ and then i proceeded to semi-ignore him while i played with the cat. her name’s from the neverending story or something like that… and i can’t remember, i want to say eritrea but i know that’s the name of a place in africa. hahahaha… i’m such a loser! anyhow, she’s 6 months old, a cute lil calico and i love her to bits! she’s SO SO SO SO SO cute and she broke my heart and i kept getting distracted by her. i think he might’ve been a little annoyed… dut dut dut. he has a glass coffee table and you could see a few paw prints and nose prints on it. SO CUTE! and so i went home and i was a little depressed because i really want a cat, and it seems that my mother’s holding out on the only thing that made me really happy in this house. so katykins and i have decided we’re getting a cat when we move in together in september.

i’ve figured something out about being a woman. it’s almost like a ‘rite of ‘passage’ for a girl to have to preen in front of a mirror whence we get to a certain age. and i don’t understand why. it’s not like i’m totally confident in my looks, but i just can’t be bothered. when i go out and i go to the washroom, i’m going because i have to pee. not because i want to fix my hair/makeup etc. i can’t be bothered. i mean i care enough to look groomed, but is it all that bad? so what if i know nothing about makeup etc or that i can leave the house without perfect eyebrows. i dunno, it just seems really strange to have to care so much.

i didn’t get home too late Monday night, and rather than coming into the house i just hung my bag on the mailbox and shovelled the snow. my dad comes out later to take out the trash and we finish up. i get inside and my mother makes this snide, ‘you’re home late,’ comment. whatever, i just spent the past 30-40 minutes shovelling YOUR fucking driveway so don’t give me that shit. i don’t even fucking drive! your OTHER daughter dearest could have easily done the same thing! blah blah blah… and for the rest of the week she’s been quite mouthy.

is it so wrong? one of the bigger reasons why i don’t care to get my license is that it’s bad for the environment. i mean when you practice you’re most likely just driving around, not necessarily running errands or whatever. know what i mean? and well, i don’t care to get a car anytime soon. gerblah! i just don’t care. so sue me.

at work, EVERY t-shirt comes in its own plastic bag with a piece of tissue paper folded inside. why? who needs all that shit? so if i had things my way, i’d save each bag and piece of tissue paper and give it per item that the custy purchases. so if they buy 3 t-shirts, the get 3 plastic bags and pieces of tissue paper. why? well none of the managers really seem to care and because the owner can’t give 2 shits either. either that or send all the plastic bags to the owners. see how YOU like dem apples!

ummm… i’m stuck. i’ve had all opening shifts this week and well it sucks ass. i don’t mind having variety in my schedule, i really don’t. so umm… i’m in contact with the same temp agency as sue and i’ve set up a meeting on monday however… i REALLY don’t think i can do the 9-5 thing. i know it would be economically smart simply because i’m getting paid pennies right now, but for my sanity’s sake.. i really might hate this. i won’t be able to sleep in because the retail job will become my secondary income at least until i have enough money which means i’ll NEVER get to ‘sleep in’ which is ironic because i can only sleep in until around 9, anytime after that and then my mother starts guilting me, the phone rings or she’ll start the laundry or something equally as absurd.

i’m kinda grumpy and feeling a little ‘off’ these days. GERBLAH!

posted by: conspiracytheorist at 01:32 | link | comments |